Body Shock

Disclaimer: Bleach and all of the characters belong to Kubo Tite. I make puppets of them. Currently all of them are feeling various forms of puppet angst.

A.N: Sorry for the long wait once again. I am continuing to write this story, don't worry about whether it will be updated or not. The real question is when the updates will come. Thank you for your patience and your feedback. Like I said before, this is a difficult part of the story. There's an explosive situation here, and the problem lies in how to let it all end naturally and of course, keep everyone in character. I originally intended this story to be only 10 chapters long. So please excuse me if things seem to be moving rather slowly at the moment.

He hadn't known where he was running to, exactly. All he had known was that he didn't want to stay there. Not with him, not even with her. He couldn't bear to look at her.

Ichigo dragged a hand across his eyes roughly, wiping away what little moisture there was there. He had told himself not to cry about it. He wouldn't cry about it. He would get angry, he wouldn't get sad. He had stopped running a few blocks ago. Now he was walking slowly, aimless and head full of horrid thoughts.

He didn't know what this meant exactly. He had thought that last night had been the first time for him and Rukia together. Well, it was, really, since the other time she had been with Kon. Thinking of the mod soul made Ichigo spit venomously into the bushes. It felt like he had a nasty taste in his mouth.

But Rukia...

How could she not have known that Ichigo wasn't in his body? So she had planned the night before as the night they would get together. It killed Ichigo to think that he had missed out on the perfect evening. Before all of this had happened he was angry because he lost out on a nice break and a conversation with a good friend. Now he was angry because he had lost out on something much more special. And that special something had gone to someone else.

Had she resisted? Why had she defended Kon back there? Ichigo would have happily accepted that none of it was her fault if only she hadn't spoken up like that. But that was Rukia. Honest and blunt, almost painfully so. Definitely painfully so.

How ironic since they had just been talking about how things might be difficult. How they might encounter problems. Ichigo had said that they would get through them. But he had been thinking of sneaking around his family, trying to snatch time together in-between school and fighting hollows and trying to keep things quiet at school. Not trying to deal with having his body used to fuck a girl who was now supposed to be his girlfriend.

At least he was able to breathe properly now. He was so confused. His body had been used to do something else. He felt cheated. He ran the thought of yesterday through his mind. He hadn't thought that it had been a lie. No wonder Rukia had been so comfortable.

Ichigo broke into a run again. What had it been like? Had Rukia's first time been with Kon? He screwed his eyes shut briefly. Had she given him smiles and laughter? Had she been happy? Had he made her happy? Had she been shy and girlish the first time, wanting to cover herself up and being embarrassed about showing herself naked? Images were flashing past him. Rukia smiling, Rukia giggling, Rukia sitting on his bed with the blankets around her, covering her slim body. Rukia's face twisted in pleasure, Rukia's eyes closed as she slept. And he imagined what it must have looked like with the two of them together. It looked like Ichigo and Rukia. But it wasn't.

She hadn't cheated on him. Strictly speaking, they weren't together before. But it was the idea of having his body stolen, having his body used, losing out on something that he thought he had had last night.

He didn't know whether he was more angry or upset.

And he still didn't know where he was going.

Kon walked along the street, feeling vulnerable. Not only because he was in his regular plushie body where anyone could pick him up or tear him apart easily, but for another reason. He just felt lonely.

The streets were empty. That was part of it. But even if he had been in the middle of a crowd, or even part of a store display of stuffed animals, he would have felt lonely. He didn't belong anywhere. Not really. Where exactly could you file mod souls? Not under the category of actual souls, that was for sure.

Created solely for the use of others. He had described once the terror of waiting among all of those small pills, wondering where each of the ones beside him was being taken. Ordered to be destroyed. The souls that he had known and they were all gone.

But no matter how alone he really was, Kon realised that some things were unforgivable.

Maybe he shouldn't be forgiven. He didn't deserve it, did he? Well, he was thankful to Rukia. She had put him back in this body. Ichigo hadn't killed him or thrown him away. When Kon had come to, he had seen Rukia in tears and no sign of Ichigo. He had only been able to obey Rukia's command to leave. He had caused her so much pain already.

Why did he care for them so much? He supposed in his own way he cared for Ichigo a little bit. Ichigo was constantly mean to him. Picking him up and throwing him all over the place, yelling insults...It annoyed him like hell because nobody should have to put up with such abuse. But Ichigo was just naturally bad-tempered. And even Kon knew that he wasn't evil. He always strove to do the right thing.

There was no question about Rukia. Kon liked her. He really did. She was pretty and if only she was a little nicer to him...But he did like her. And lately, well, before this whole thing happened, she had seemed to be making an effort to change her behaviour towards him. Maybe she had realised that they were comrades. He was necessary after all. What would Ichigo do if there was a hollow and Rukia wasn't around?

Kon wondered about the consequences of his actions. He probably had changed things irreversibly. But there was always the possibility that they would still need him. Rukia couldn't be with Ichigo all the time and they had to admit that having a mod soul around was handy. Kon had no place to go anyway.

He had known that something like this was coming. So why hadn't he owned up in the first place the moment Rukia had called him Ichigo? He should have come clean and then there would have been no confusion and no trouble. He should have stopped things the moment they started to get too serious. No, he should have stopped things before they had the chance to get too serious.

He wasn't going to make jokes this time about getting some sexual gratification. Sure, sometimes he was obsessed with girls, but never would he dream of joking about Rukia.

This whole situation just wasn't funny at all.

She didn't know how long she had simply been laying in the dark of the cupboard. Where her face was against the pillow she could feel the coldness of wet material drying. Rukia hadn't been bothered to move but now she peeled her face off the pillow. The quiet 'shrip' sound was almost comical.

As she slid the door open, the little light hurt her eyes. They were probably all red. Her face was probably streaked from the trails of her tears. Never had she felt so crap in her entire life. She got out of the cupboard and padded across the room in her socks, crouching down to pick up some of the items that had been on Ichigo's desk. Slowly, she placed them all back in order, tidying things away neatly. The room was eventually back to its normal state, almost unnaturally so.

Feeling weak, Rukia crawled up onto Ichigo's bed, lying down. The pillow had his scent about it. She wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes.

She felt...She wasn't sure how she felt. Blank, mostly. Shocked that such a wonderful thing had been destroyed in a matter of minutes. That image of Ichigo telling her not to touch him was stuck in her mind and it was terrible. She never wanted to see him look at her like that ever again. If he came back, which he would eventually have to do, Rukia would beg for forgiveness. Beg him to love her again.

What was she thinking? A part of her wanted to smack herself, tell herself to stop being so irrational. It was a fight. A serious fight, but one that they would get through.

But every time she told herself that, Ichigo appeared in her mind again, his frown deeper than usual and a brief flash of disgust in his brown eyes. And his voice echoed with horror and hatred. "Don't touch me."

She felt horrible. That was the only word for it. A feeling of choking, almost. Like everything in her body was being slowly drawn down into a place in her chest, like water running towards a drain. Everything flowing to this one place. And it would leave her empty.

She hadn't known that Kon was in Ichigo's body. She hadn't known...But she couldn't help but think that she should have known. It should have been so easy to tell. Maybe she hadn't wanted to think that it might be Kon. Maybe she had been so desperate to satisfy her own needs that she had just ignored things that didn't seem right. The little laughs and smiles. She felt a wave of heat rush to her eyes but Rukia screwed them shut tightly, resisting the urge to cry.

Her spirit phone was still on the table, completely silent. If it rang, then she would have to go and fight a hollow. And maybe if Ichigo sensed a hollow, he would come running. And they would be together. And they would have the chance to talk properly. They would sort this whole thing out.

She could understand if Ichigo hated her. She hated herself in a way. She felt cheap. She felt angry that Kon had taken advantage of such a situation, but she knew that she hadn't exactly helped matters. She knew that once she started something it was always difficult to stop so it was understandable that Kon had gone through with what he had.

She hoped that Ichigo would come back. She would feel better if he just smiled at her again. Everything had gone so wrong...Stupid her.

And Ichigo's question had broken her heart. "Did you like it?" She could sense his pain and it had cut right through her in a way that nothing else had ever done before.

Maybe she had. But that was because she had thought it was him...

Rukia buried her face in the pillow, clenching her fists. She felt dirty. That was it. Like being covered in grit. She didn't deserve to see Ichigo any more. It would probably be better if she just left. But where would she go? What would she do?

Why couldn't things just go back to how they were a while ago?

Chad sat in his room, a book open and a pen in his hand. He was trying to do some homework but something was distracting him.

It wasn't too late, but it was past sunset. He had turned the light on to help with his reading when the sun had disappeared.

No, he couldn't concentrate on school work anymore. He dropped the pen on the desk and stared down at the books in front of him, the diagrams and notes blurring. He wondered what was bothering him. A while ago, things had been perfectly fine.

There was a sort of...disturbance in the air. That was the only way he could think of to describe it but he couldn't explain it. He could feel it the way you could feel heat radiating from a fire. Almost like seeing the heat distort the air around it, making everything appear wavy.

His right arm itched. Chad scratched absently, still trying to place that strange feeling. It felt familiar, but also out of place. Then it came to him.

"Ichigo." Chad got up.

"It's not that I hate him, or anything," Tatsuki was saying as she walked with Orihime. They had just been to the store and Orihime had bought several food items that looked like they didn't fit together at all. Of course, she intended to put them all in one dish. "I was just pointing out that you'd been talking with him a lot."

"And I said, Tatsuki-chan, that he's in the sewing club! I've just gotten to know Ishida-kun a little better." Orihime looked up at the sky. Cloudless with little pinpricks of light here and there. "Don't you think stars are so pretty?"

"Yeah, they are." Tatsuki looked over at Orihime staring up as she walked. "Careful, you might fall down."

"Ok."

"You know I'm just looking out for you, that's all."

"Yeah." Orihime smiled. "You're my best friend. You've always looked out for me."

Tatsuki smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, I suppose. But you need someone to look out for you."

"You should talk to him too, Tatsuki-chan."

"Something...just tells me that he's not my kind of person."

"Maybe if you just talked to him..." Orihime spun around in a circle. "Ishida-kun's really funny."

"He doesn't seem like a funny person."

"Well, he is." Orihime looked at Tatsuki. Her best friend looked troubled. "Tatsuki-chan? What is it?"

Tatsuki was silent for a little while. She...It was hard to say. She was just unfamiliar with Ishida so wasn't sure about whether she wanted Orihime hanging around with him. If he stepped out of line, Tatsuki was sure that she would be able to beat him up pretty easily. After all, Ishida was quite skinny and while he was taller than her, Tatsuki knew that height wasn't everything. But the thing that bothered her was that Tatsuki wasn't sure where the line actually was. She told herself not to jump to conclusions. Ishida didn't seem like the type to be girl-crazy. It was just that Orihime was so innocent sometimes. And so beautiful. And if Orihime did become friends with someone else...well, became...'friends' with Ishida...then Tatsuki didn't know what she would do.

But she told herself to stop being so stupid. To stop over-reacting. It was just a friendship, that was all. Orihime was friendly to everybody.

"Tatsuki-chan?"

"Orihime, I..." Tatsuki made an open gesture, indicating that she didn't have anything to say.

"Ah, Sado-kun!" Orihime looked past Tatsuki. Tatsuki also turned around to see Chad running up the street. "What are you doing here?"

"Have you seen Ichigo?" Chad asked. He stood there stiffly in front of the pair, his fists clenched.

"Ichigo?" Tatsuki frowned and shook her head. "No, we haven't."

"Oh." Chad nodded. "Thank you." He made to run off again but Orihime spoke up.

"What's wrong with Kurosaki-kun?"

Chad answered honestly. "I don't know." Then he was off again, disappearing around the corner.

"That guy..." Tatsuki sighed. "Come on, Orihime. Let's keep moving."

He would probably have to go home eventually. Or at least be there for the morning. But not just yet.

Ichigo was sitting on the top of the steep slope that led to the edge of the river. Usually, every year they all gathered here together before heading off to the summer fireworks festival. Every year his dad was excited about the festival. So was Yuzu, and for a change, Karin. Ichigo himself thought the displays were pretty. And there was always something to do while you waited for the display to start.

There was nothing to do now, though. It was dark. Little flecks of white light shone on the water of the river. His legs dangled over the edge of the slope, placed lazily on the scrubby grass that grew there. It was a nice view. Perfect if you were feeling excited about seeing a wonderful annual display, perfect if you were sitting with a friend talking about life, perfect if you were sitting there wondering about the morality of having your body stolen for someone else to have sex with a girl that you liked. A lot.

Ichigo raised his knees up and rested his chin on them, wrapping his arms around his legs. He would sit here for a little while. Just sit here like this.

She was sweet, that was for sure. And all of her work was always carefully done, even if she did look a little clumsy. She wasn't a master like he was, but she was pretty good. Better than quite a few of the other members. If she stayed in the sewing club, as Ishida hoped that she would, then maybe he could teach her how to do the more complicated stitches. She was always asking for help, after all.

He should really stop wandering around so late at night. He should learn to just get everything he needed during the daytime. And perhaps stop staying at school so late on most days. Sewing could always be done at home, after all. The fabrics he kept at home were even better than the ones he kept in his emergency stash.

Ishida paused, seeing a small shadow on the street corner. Well, he thought he had but then convinced himself that it was nothing as the shadow disappeared when he looked more closely. Yeah, he really should just learn to get home earlier. Or at least stay home once he got home. It didn't look like there were any hollows tonight.

Just dodgy shadows around.

Ishida shivered. It was a little cold. It wasn't that he was spooked by the feeling in the atmosphere. No, he wasn't scared of the dark or anything like that. It was just a little chilly all of a sudden.

"Ishida."

"Ah!" Ishida let out a high-pitched yelp as a hand clapped on his shoulder. "What the...Chad?"

Chad was staring.

"I...mean...Ah, it's you, Chad." Ishida coughed to hide his embarrassment.

"Have you seen Ichigo?"

"Ichigo? No. Why would I see Ichigo?"

"Just wondering." Chad walked off ahead, disappearing quickly.

Ishida frowned after him but shrugged it off. He was a little shaken but ignored it.

"Quincys are not chickens," he said to himself, striding forwards bravely.

"One might wonder about the ethics of all of this."

"Wonder, but not say anything."

"But still..."

"Still nothing."

Urahara's look was serious as he paced around the inside of the store. Closing time had passed long ago and it was mostly dark in the room. He put his hand to his chin thoughtfully. He supposed that he had a part to play in this whole mess. Or did he? It wasn't his fault if things went wrong when they weren't supposed to.

It might be his job to...interfere a little. To help things get back to the way that they should be.

Tessai was watching Urahara think of all of his options. He felt that Urahara was taking all of this very seriously. But Urahara always had an interest in Rukia and Ichigo. He never said exactly why he was particularly interested and Tessai didn't bother to ask but it was clear that he wanted things to work out between the two.

"That mod soul has been an awful lot of trouble." Urahara sighed heavily. "Well, I suppose it's not up to us how Ichigo deals with him."

"No, I don't think it is."

"Still..." Urahara grabbed the cane he had set to lean against one of the shelves and made his way outside. He was still running through the possible courses of action and the possible choices people would make. Nothing else for it. He could feel spirit pressure everywhere. It was starting to get annoying.

Chad was starting to get frustrated. He could sense it in the air but he couldn't place it. Just as he wondered whether he should just see if he could phone Ichigo at home, he saw a skinny boy with distinctive hair sitting down.

Chad walked over to his friend.

"What the...Chad?" Ichigo looked up. Chad was tall anyway but he looked positively frightening when standing above him. "What are you doing here?"

Chad smiled. Ishida had said pretty much the same thing. He took a seat next to Ichigo. "I was just wandering around."

"You don't usually do that." Ichigo studied Chad carefully. "You're more a guy who stays at home, like me."

In response, Chad shrugged.

"Whatever." Ichigo resumed staring out over the river and up at the clear sky.

Chad felt mildly reassured now that he was sitting with Ichigo. He could still tell that something was wrong but he didn't want to ask just yet. He sat there, appreciating the view and thinking of the number of times he had seen this view at different times during the day. One day he would have to get up extra early to see this view when the sun rose.

Ichigo felt comforted by Chad's presence. He didn't know Chad's exact reasons for being out and about this late, but he had the feeling that Chad was just being a friend. Although it was uncanny that Chad knew he was sitting here. Even so, Ichigo was glad for the company for a little while. He was glad to be able to sit with someone who was so uncomplicated and someone who he had known for such a long time. It had a calming effect.

He couldn't help but think that Ichigo was feeling sad because of something to do with Rukia. Chad didn't want to ask though for fear of offending Ichigo if he had guessed wrongly.

"Hey, Chad." Ichigo's words filled the silence.

Chad said nothing because he knew that Ichigo knew he was listening.

"What would you do if you found out something that meant that something you believed before wasn't really true?"

It was a complicated question that Chad pondered for a moment.

"It would depend."

"And what would you do if you found out that you had trusted someone, even though you didn't really like very much, and then found out that they'd fucked things up really badly and taken advantage of that trust?"

"I don't know." Chad was trying to think about what Ichigo meant. What had happened? He was starting to get confused but he didn't show it, instead choosing to sift through Ichigo's sentences carefully while patiently waiting for a fuller explanation. "You tell me."

Ichigo took a deep breath. Perhaps talking would help in some way. Loads of people were always saying how talking was good, to let emotions out was good and to share your problems was good. Well, Ichigo didn't know about any of that crap really. He almost always let his emotions out although not on purpose. But now, he felt a lot calmer, helped along by Chad's silence.

He knew that Chad wouldn't laugh at him. So while he stared out at the view, he told Chad everything that had happened.