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Underneath It All	By : Raceysama Category: Bleach > Yaoi - Male/Male > Grimmjow/Ichigo Views: 4161 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, any of the songs mentioned are not my own, nor do I make any profit from these works......

Chapter List
- 9
- 10
- 11
CHAPTER 10: DOUBT
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach...
Onwards...
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
August 2008
Yamanaka Apartments
"What?" Rukia asked, her voice a mixture of shock, disbelief and anger.
Renji didn't blame her, but he could no longer keep up the facade. He knew Rukia loved him, but he didn't feel the same way for her. There had been a point in time when he did have some type of romantic feelings for her, but she had become clingy and demanding, and then there was the whole situation with Ichigo.
He hadn't wanted to drag her along in his downfall, but she'd come anyway, and it very nearly destroyed him. Renji had his own reasons and issues for disowning everyone, but he knew Rukia had been really close to Tatsuki, Orihime and the others. Except Ichigo. She had always been rather distant towards him, even when he and Renji were best friends, and he never knew the reason behind it.
He had never asked either.
At the time, it had been convenient. Renji had been grateful in his selfishness that Rukia loved him enough to disown her closest friends, and stick by his side, supporting him no matter what, but as time went on...he started to realize all the bullshit he'd put her through.
Her older brother had kicked her out because, as fate would have it, he was gay too, and didn't appreciate her getting in trouble for beating a guy that had the same sexual preference as he did. That situation had sucked, but Renji had allowed her to move in with him. From there, everything seemed to go downhill.
Rukia clung to him everywhere he went, demanding all of his time and attention, and getting pissed whenever he even mentioned Ichigo's name. Renji had to admit that their relationship hadn't been the same since he'd found out about the fucking Strawberry turning gay. He didn't know how to fix things either, because he just didn't feel the same about the petite raven-haired girl.
So...he'd decided to break it off. He'd explained that she could stay there in their apartment, since she had nowhere else to go, but he didn't want to be with her romantically anymore. She deserved better than him, and he only wanted her to see that.
"Rukia, we haven't been the same since the whole thing with Ichigo went down, and I'll be the first to admit that it's my fault. I only want you to be happy, and you can't find that with me. I'm just not the same guy you fell for. I can't be what you need me to be anymore. I can't. Not as long as Ichi-"
"What the fuck does that have to do with us, Renji? I love you! Does that even fucking matter to you? Or is everything still all about Ichigo?" Her voice dripped disdain over the orange head's name.
"Rukia, it's not li-"
"Yes, it is! It's ALWAYS been about him! Even now when you're not supposed to care about him, all you do is talk about him! Ichigo this, and Ichigo that! What about ME, Renji? When will it be about ME? Ichigo wasn't there for your sorry ass when you were balled up in the corner of the bathroom, crying like a little girl! Or, when you were bent over the toilet, trying to bring up all of your internal organs!"
"Watch your mouth, Rukia," he growled. She was going too fucking far. Granted, she had a right to be pissed, but saying all that was too much.
"No! I feel so fucking stupid, Renji! I love you so much, and all I wanted was for you to put ME first every now and then, AND YOU NEVER DID!" By now she was crying, tears streaming down her cheeks, unchecked. "I can't believe this! I gave up EVERYTHING for you! EVERYTHING! My friends, my family! Renji, what the fuck? Why can't you love me?" she shrieked, her face twisted in pain, and her hands balled into fists at her sides.
What should he say? He had no idea how to respond to her, because she was absolutely right. Shit. It seemed like he just couldn't do anything right. All he could do was stand, rooted to the spot, as Rukia screamed her frustrations at him.
"I hate you! You and Ichigo deserve each other! Stupid bastard!"
Rukia fled the apartment, slamming the door behind her. Fuck. Renji felt terrible for making her feel bad, even hating him, but deep down, he was relieved. That may sound horrible, but at least now, Rukia could begin to pick up the remnants of her life, starting fresh. She didn't need him being a burden to her.
Damn. Not only was he dealing with Rukia's heartbreak and anger, but just the other day, he'd seen Ichigo with that blue-haired guy that saved his ass last October. It seemed like they were an item, because he'd seen them kissing. Ichigo was fucking contagious! The last Renji remembered, the blue-haired guy was straight.
He'd seen the guy around when they were still in junior high and high school, and he'd always seen him with chicks. Then again, he did hang out with a bunch of other fags, that blond bastard, Shinji, included. Maybe the guy had been a closet homo all along.
Well, whatever the case, Renji was no fool. That blue-haired guy was pretty fucking big, and he'd already shown he had other means of dispensing justice by brandishing that big ass gun. Renji'd never been so scared in his life, staring down the barrel of that huge weapon. So, Ichigo had gotten away that night, but he had plans to confront the orange head again, this time without his blue-haired bodyguard.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
August 2008
What the fuck had she done to deserve this shit? All she had done was love that red-haired asshole, and this was the thanks she got?
Rukia ran. She stumbled over cracks in the pavement, as tears blurred her vision. She had nowhere to go, but she'd be damned if she stayed with Renji any longer. She couldn't believe he'd broken up with her after everything she'd sacrificed for him. For them.
Broken sobs were wrenched from her body, as she made her way into the park. Her legs had been on autopilot, and led her to her place of peace, driven by instinct alone. She collapsed on the merry-go-round, and lay there, drowning in a sea of sorrow.
Years of loving a broken boy, giving him everything, and all for nothing. Rukia felt like there was a gaping void where her heart used to be, but she was also beyond pissed. All of this was the fault of one person, and that orange-haired bastard was going to pay for what he'd done to Renji, and ultimately her. She didn't care if she had to die trying. Ichigo Kurosaki would pay.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
August 2008
Grimmjow sat in his car, outside of the large, white house, engine off, and fingers gripping the steering wheel tightly. He noted the faded blue pick-up in the driveway, and gulped audibly. He wasn't scared. He just didn't want to see the look on the man's face when he told him what he needed to tell him.
He'd been procrastinating long enough, and now that he wanted his oyaji to meet Ichigo, telling him that he was gay was inevitable. Fuck. He grit his teeth, and exited the vehicle, resigned to his fate. Grimmjow knew his father was going to ask some very awkward questions, and no amount of preparation would steel him against what was to come.
Grimmjow approached the door, lifted his key to the lock, and let himself into his childhood home. After re-locking the door, he listened for any movement from his father. The house was unusually silent, and it made him nervous. The older blue-haired male normally spent his time in the living room, watching old American movies, or on the patio, sipping his whiskey, and smoking a cigar.
"Pop?" he called. "Oiiiiii!"
Grimmjow moved into the kitchen, leading to the patio, and immediately felt the worried tension that had begun gathering across his shoulders, relax. His old man was seated on a white, cushioned deck chair, puffing away on a cigar. The smell was incredibly nostalgic, and brought Grimmjow memories of his younger days.
His Pop's blue hair was still as vibrant as his own, with minor graying at the temples, and his bright blue eyes were still as lively as a man in his twenties. He was wearing a dark-blue, terry-cloth robe, and white, linen pajama pants. His black slippers were resting on the floor, while his bare feet were kicked up on a black, leather ottoman.
On the table beside his father, was a sturdy glass filled halfway with the man's favorite whiskey, Jack Daniels. Awful stuff, that. Grimmjow remembered being eight years old, and sneaking some from his dad's glass when the man wasn't looking, and completely giving himself away after being sent into a coughing fit. The shit burned like fire on his tongue and on its way down his throat.
Stifling a chuckle, he slid the glass door back, and stepped onto the patio. Alric Jaegerjaques glanced up at him, and gave him a warm grin.
"Grimmjow, my boy! To what do I owe the pleasure?" his old man's deep, rich voice traveled easily across the backyard.
"Hey, Pop. I, uh...well, there's somethin' I've been meanin' to talk to ya about," he started, plopping into the seat across from the older blue-haired man. Alric's face immediately got serious, totally intimidating him.
"Is it the club? I thought everything was smooth sailin' with that?" Grimmjow frowned.
"Nah, everything's great with the club. The opening's next week, and I expect you to be there," he answered sternly, making his father crack their trademark, feral grin.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ya know what ya wanna call the place yet?"
"Mm, I was thinking Las Noches," he answered.
"Ahhh. What the hell is that?" Grimmjow let loose a bark of laughter.
"It means "the nights" in Spanish."
"Oh. Sounds good. So, if this isn't about the club, what's got ya so nervous?" His Pop's blue eyes locked with his own, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. Fuck. The moment of truth. Grimmjow took a deep breath, and dove right in.
"R-remember when ya asked me if I was g-gay, a while back? A-and I said no?"
Alric's eyes narrowed, and he nodded slowly, taking a deep pull from his cigar. Grimmjow shifted again, and swallowed.
"Uh, well, see...I, um-" FUCK! He couldn't get it out! Luckily, his father took the reins.
"You lied to me?" the older man asked quietly, his face an expressionless mask. If there was anything they both hated, it was a liar. Thankfully, he could honestly say he hadn't lied back then.
"No, I didn't. B-back then, I really had no interest in men. Truthfully, I still don't," he fumbled, as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"Grimmjow, son, you're not makin' any sense. Just tell me. Did you sleep with a man out of curiosity, or somethin'?"
"Heh, no. I, I..." Grimmjow sighed, and squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm dating a guy."
The silence was thick and awkward, making Grimmjow wince. Now, he'd gone and done it. The truth was out, the beans were spilled. He was thinking up ways his father would respond, when loud, rolling laughter echoed across the patio and yard. Grimmjow's eyes sprang open, only to see his father grasping his gut, and tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
"Pop?" he ventured.
"Ahaha! Aha! Ahahahaha!"
"Pop!" he tried, more sternly.
"I'm sorry, son, but the look on your face! Ahaha! Ok, I'm stopping...heh. Oh, man. Ahhh," Alric replied, wiping his eyes, still chuckling spastically.
"Pop, you're not helping," Grimmjow muttered sullenly. All this time, he'd thought his father would be upset or something, and here the man was laughing at him.
"Ok, ok! I thought ya said ya don't have any interest in men? How does that work with ya datin' one?"
"I don't have any interest in men. It's just him. No other guys catch my attention. Just Ichigo."
"Ichigo, huh? I almost thought ya were gonna say one a'your other friends."
There was a brief silence, before his father was speaking again.
"So, how long have ya been seein' this Ichigo fella?"
"Few months now," he responded, the nervousness all but gone.
"Well, how did ya get together? What made ya realize ya liked him...like that?"
And it starts. This was what he was afraid of. The inquisition had begun. He sighed tiredly.
"It's a long story." His father lifted a blue brow.
"You goin' somewhere?"
Grimmjow just chuckled, and began explaining his and Ichigo's history, starting at the very beginning with their school days.
XOXOXOXO
Karakura Town
August 2008
Ichigo was walking home from work, his back aching from lifting boxes all day. Urahara had been uncharacteristically grumpy that day, muttering something about his nephew. Ichigo didn't know what the hell was going on, but he hoped the man got over it soon, because he didn't think his back could take much more abuse, rearranging the store room.
All of a sudden, there was a vibrating sensation from his jeans pocket, so he quickly extracted his cell phone, and snapped it open.
"Hello?" he answered.
"Hey." A wide smile spread across his face when he recognized the caller.
"Hey."
"Ya off work yet?"
"Yeah, I'm just going to stop at the store to pick up something to fix for dinner."
"Am I invited?" Grimmjow asked, making Ichigo's grin spread wider.
"How do you feel about spaghetti?" he asked, switching the phone to his other ear.
"Me and spaghetti are cool."
"Ok, then I'll be home in about a half."
"Alright, see ya then," his blue-haired boyfriend ended the call.
Grimmjow wasn't overly affectionate, but he had opened up a lot to Ichigo in the past few months. They still had yet to go beyond kissing and petting, but he was being patient. He didn't want to rush Grimmjow, and consequently push him away.
Although, it was excruciatingly hard not to lose his control when they would kiss, and the blunet would run his hands across his chest and back, sometimes up Ichigo's thighs. Correction...it was sheer torture.
It had taken the man a week just to touch him anywhere other than his neck, and waist. Ichigo smiled. He didn't care. If he could endure years of wanting Grimmjow, while thinking that he couldn't have him, then he could wait until the guy was ready to move on to more intimate gestures.
Ichigo stepped into a small grocery store, located a few blocks from his apartment, to pick up the necessary ingredients for the spaghetti. The bell over the door tinkled delicately, as the portal opened and shut.
"Hey, Ichiro-san," Ichigo greeted the elderly store owner standing behind the counter.
"Kurosaki-kun, how is your family?"
"They're good."
"Good, good. Tell them I said 'hi'," the old man's gravelly voice called.
"Yes, sir."
Ichigo passed through the aisles collecting the items he needed, when the bell over the door tinkled again, alerting to another customer. He didn't pay it any mind, until he went to the register to checkout, and saw the blonde woman Grimmjow used to go out with.
He tried to ignore her presence, but it was a bit hard with her glaring at him. Ichigo glanced at her, and blanched when he locked gazes with a pair of livid clear green eyes, narrowed menacingly. Grabbing his change and his bags, he quickly left the store, only to avoid an unnecessary confrontation, but it wasn't meant to be.
"Hey!" she called, after following Ichigo outside. He paused mid-stride, and glanced over his shoulder. Great. The blonde was storming towards him, eyes glittering maliciously.
"Yes?"
"I don't know what you've done to Grimm, but he's gonna wake up sooner or later, and see that he's not really gay," she huffed angrily. Ichigo narrowed his eyes, feeling blood rush to his face.
"Are you trying to say that I made him gay or something?" he ground through clenched teeth.
"Grimmjow was straight before you came into the picture. Now, I see him...kissing and holding hands with you at the movies...it's disgusting! Do yourself a favor, and break it off before he comes to his senses. I'm pretty sure he's just curious, and when he loses interest, you'll be the one hurt."
Ichigo's grip on the plastic handles of the shopping bags he held was enough to create crescent-shaped indentations on his palms. His breathing had kicked up to where he felt he was very near hyperventilating, and extremely close to having a stroke from the rise in his blood pressure.
"Are you done?" he asked quietly. If his upbringing hadn't instilled in him the rule to never hit girls or women, this chick would be toast. "Actually, it doesn't matter, 'cause I am."
He walked away from the blonde on stiff legs, each step jerky and uncoordinated. Breathe, Ichigo, just breathe. That fucking bitch. Now, he was doubting himself. The fact that Grimmjow had even gained an interest in him, after years of being straight, had always been clinging to the back of his mind, nagging and questioning him, and this woman had brought it all to the surface.
Shit.
Ichigo finally made it to his apartment building, noting Grimmjow's car parked in the lot, before he stalked through the lobby to the elevators. The quiet ride was interrupted by the vibrating of his cell phone, but since his hands were full, he couldn't answer it.
The doors dinged open, and he stepped into the wide hallway. Grimmjow was leaning against the wall beside his door, arms crossed, and a scowl etched across his features. When he saw Ichigo, he pushed off the wall, walked up to him, and grabbed the bag from his right hand.
"Hey, I called ya like three times after we spoke. I was worried," he stated.
"Sorry," Ichigo muttered, pulling his key from his pocket, and unlocking the door.
He trudged to the kitchen, his good mood completely trashed, and began getting things together for the spaghetti. Grimmjow entered the kitchen, not saying a word, but Ichigo could feel the man's eyes on him.
"So, ya gonna tell me what's buggin' ya?" his deep voice dispelled the silence.
"It's nothing." Ichigo really didn't want to go there with Grimmjow. What? And tell the man that he ran into his ex-girlfriend, and that she basically blamed Ichigo for his change of sexual orientation, telling him to break up with the guy? No, thanks.
"Riiiiiight, and chickens have lips. Ichigo, don't lie to me."
Fuck. Grimmjow had the scariest voice when he was pissed, or getting there. Right now, he was probably in the "getting there" stage. Should he push his luck?
"Seriously, it's not-" he started, turning to face the blunet, and had to stumble back a step, because Grimmjow was right in front of him. When the hell did he move?
"You were sayin'?"
"I-It's no big deal, really. Let's just drop it, ok?" Ichigo tried again...with no such luck.
"Nah, I don't think so, Ichigo. My boyfriend, whom I haven't seen all fucking week, mind you, sees me, doesn't even say hi, let alone greet me with his usual kiss, and I'm supposed to just 'drop it'? Yeah, that ain't happenin'," Grimmjow stated, voice gradually edging from "getting there" to all the way turned up, as he stepped closer.
Ichigo pursed his lips, lowered his head, and weighed his options. He could keep the encounter to himself, and deal with a seriously angry Grimmjow, or, he could tell him, and deal with the awkwardness that was sure to follow. He peeked through his bangs at his blue-haired boyfriend and winced. Yeah, Grimm was good and pissed. Withholding information would only make things worse.
Ichigo sighed dejectedly, before turning his back to the taller man. Next stop, awkwardville.
"I just, it's just that...I, uh, I ran into your ex at the store. You know, the blonde one?" he asked, too afraid to turn around and see Grimmjow's expression. There was a brief silence before the man spoke.
"Yeah," he said.
"Well, she um, she-she kind of-" Shit. The words just wouldn't come out. Suddenly, Grimmjow was right behind him, hands on his hips, as he nuzzled his hair.
"What did she say to ya?" Ichigo sighed, deciding to quit stalling, and just go for broke.
"She told me that she didn't know what I did to you to get you to, um, turn gay, but you were gonna lose interest in me, once you came to your senses. She said she saw us at the movies, and that I, uh, I should break it off with you, before I got hurt..." his voice trailed off when he felt Grimmjow's grip on his hips tighten.
"Ya believe that?" Grimmjow's voice was taut with what sounded like barely controlled anger.
"I don't want to, but...I don't know. My mind starts playing tricks on me, and I don't know what to believe. I don't know if it's from the shock of you actually liking me back, or, if it's the fact that you were straight for years before I came along...I just don't know, Grimm."
"So, what does that mean? Ya wanna break up with me?" Ichigo's insides clenched at the thought.
"No. Hell no," he answered firmly.
Ichigo swore he heard a sigh of relief come from the man, as he was turned to face him. He stared into solemn, ocean-blue eyes, and was caught off guard when Grimmjow smiled brightly.
"Good, 'cause that'd be kinda hard to explain to my Pop."
"Your-"
"Yeah, I just came from telling my dad all about ya. He knows everything, and I want ya to meet him at the club opening," Grimmjow explained, his gruff baritone almost excited.
"Y-you want me to meet your father?" Ichigo asked, his body going absolutely numb with joy.
"Baka. Course I want ya to meet my old man. Halibel doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about, so ya don't need to pay her any mind. I'm serious 'bout ya, Ichi. Don't let her put doubts in your mind about me, yeah?"
Ichigo felt like his head was about to explode from the blood pounding and surging through it. Grimmjow wanted him to meet his father. The man that raised him. The man that now knew everything about him. He couldn't be happier.
"Ok," Ichigo murmured, and rested his hands on Grimmjow's hips.
"Ichi?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I have my kiss now?" Grimmjow asked, a devilish gleam in his blue eyes. Ichigo grinned and nodded, as their lips melded together.
He would never doubt Grimmjow again.
- 9
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- 11
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Underneath It All