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That Dreaded Word	By : Platinumsabr Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 11539 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, or the characters from it. I don't make any money from the writing of this story, but I do enjoy writing it. Any Original Characters are mine however, as is the story itself, and if you see it posted elsewhere pleas

Chapter List
- 9
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- 11
Izanami

She almost trembled as he
walked towards her, expecting some kind of reference to her dismissal of his
abilities, but instead he tenderly leaned down and gently pressed his lips
against hers before pulling away, leaving her wide-eyed in confusion.

�I�m sorry about before. I
haven�t had someone worry about me in so long I guess I forgot what it was
like,� he said softly, and her relief was so profound and immediate she
accidentally jumped forward to hug her arms around his neck, regardless of the
people watching.

�What did I tell you about
apologizing all the time?� she recounted in a thankful whisper. �This time it�s
my turn to say I�m sorry.�

He put his one arm around her,
suddenly not even the least bit concerned about the battle that had just taken
place. Her warmth was intoxicating, and all the comfort he needed. This was
certainly a nice end to a first date. �I think you need to take your own
advice.�

She chuckled and nodded into
his shoulder.

�And I think you need to tell
us what the hell that was,� Tatsuki interjected carefully.

He felt Soi-Fong stiffen
against him, but he merely nodded. �I think it�s about time I do that as well.�

~~~~~~~~~~~

He bent down and picked up the
mangled remains of his once sleek artificial arm with a mournful expression
ever so slightly cracking his usual mask. Having just found out about it a
little earlier, Tatsuki wasn�t very surprised, but poor Kin hadn�t been privy
to any of the information the other three had, and she was wide-eyed and
wordless.

�I�ve had this for�years,� he
said softly, and Soi-Fong put her hand over his, holding the warped appendage.

�I�m only thankful it was that
that was wrecked, and not you.�

He chuckled reluctantly. �I
suppose you have a point there.�

�No doubt. Still, that thing�s
totaled. Wouldn�t suppose you have a spare?� Tatsuki asked outright, and
Gwydion chuckled again.

�I do have one, Retsu-dono made
it for me originally. I was the one that requested this one be made.
Urahara-sama would be devastated if he saw his work like this.�

Yoruichi�s ears perked up
curiously. �Kisuke made that?� Her eyes narrowed questioningly. �Wait�what�s
that thing hiding then?�

He gave her his strange
half-smile as he adjusted his grip on the wrecked arm. �You always were
amazingly insightful, Princess.� With a flicker of his hand a kunai was
embedded in one of the trees across the backyard, and when their eyes returned
to him he was spinning another on his index finger.

Soi-Fong�s eyes lit up. �So
that�s where you�ve been hiding your hidden weapons. I wondered about that when
I picked up your uniform and there were no blades in the sleeves. So your
gigai�s one is the same?�

He nodded before turning and
tossing the wreck onto the ground, where the useless item seemingly
spontaneously combusted because his hand seals couldn�t be seen in his sleeve.
�He made that one at the same time in case I was ever assigned to the Living
World. It won�t be the same without this one though. Would you mind if we
returned to our gigais before we talked, Tatsuki-san? I�m not very comfortable
speaking without the aid of a barrier otherwise right now.�

Her mind snapped to awareness as
she shook off the confusion of watching his arm wordlessly burst into flame,
and she remembered his reaction when she had first seen his fake arm. His point
was easy to see, now that she looked at him, the shredded right sleeve blowing
limply in the wind did stand out a lot more than it had before. She could
understand his desire to hide it again, seeing as that�s the only thing he�d
ever done.

Of course he�d want to be in
the body that still has the arm. He has been keeping his disability a
secret after all. �N-No prob.�

�Thank you.� With a slight bow he
turned and offered his hand to Soi-Fong, who sputtered embarrassedly before
taking his hand and walking with him back indoors, a more discreet barrier
around them until they got to their bodies.

It did feel strange to those
walking behind them though, watching the wrecked sleeve dangle in the air
behind him as he walked hand-in-hand with a near florescent Soi-Fong. With his
prosthetic in place nothing seemed amiss except for the fact that he never used
his right arm, as he was it was made so unmistakably clear that a piece of his
body was missing it just seemed�off. Considering his skill fighting, remembering
he was missing a limb was harder than it may sound.

Their bodies were found easily,
and they were surprised to see his body without its patented robe-sleeved
shirt. He slipped it on immediately after he was back in his gigai, and just
like that his illusion was in place and the only thing they could see that set
him apart was the murkiness of his blind right eye.

�Our food got cold�� Soi-Fong
noticed grumpily as she looked at the stove.

Gwydion merely walked over and
turned up the heat again. �At least I remembered to shut the stove off before
we left. We could have easily been coming back to a burnt mess. Hate to have
that experience remembered by a fire.� She grinned at that, and Yoruichi and
Kin couldn�t help but notice how often she smiled unwittingly around him. As if
to punctuate their conversation, their stomachs gurgled noisily, and the other
three present muffled laughter.

�It�s been quite a night, hasn�t
it?� Kin stated humorously.

Tatsuki seemed to be brought back
to the matter at hand with that, though she nodded and chuckled as well. �It
has. Speaking of that, you said you�d tell us about your zanpakutou, right?�

The silence that brought on was
much like what she expected; it had seemed to be a taboo subject even before it
was brought up.

Nonetheless, he nodded once
again. �I did. It seems I�ve been targeted by someone, somewhere, and a representative
has already come to see me. I can�t say for sure at this point if Ai is one of
them or not, but she certainly doesn�t look it. Tatsuki-san, I can�t stress the
importance of you keeping what I�m about to tell you a strict secret enough. I
expect you�ll tell the captain, I won�t put restrictions on that, but it can�t
go to anyone else, and you can�t allow him to tell anyone either.�

The woman in question looked at
him with a puzzled expression on her face. �Jeez Gwen, when you say it like
that it�s like you�re a wanted criminal or something!�

His operational eye saddened
visibly. �Close enough.�

The practice with Soi-Fong made
the story easier to tell, and he told them everything that had happened to him,
and why he had kept his zanpakutou a secret. By the end of the narrative he
sighed heavily and the smell of the food said that it was done. Kin�s eyes were
wider than they had been in a long time, and Tatsuki looked like she was going
to faint. Taking their silence as allowance to do something else for a brief
moment, he readied a couple of plates of food and resumed sitting at the table
with them while giving Soi-Fong her plate, stacked high with food.

�I apologize for this, but we
really are hungry. If you�ll allow me some time I can continue.� They both
quickly said their blessing over the food, and started eating while keeping
their eyes on the other members at the other end of the table.

Finally, Tatsuki broke her
silence. �So you�re really�what? Four hundred or something? Wow, that�s quite a
life. Sometimes I forget how deceiving looks can be in the Society.�

�And what you went through�my
God�� Kin breathed in disbelief.

He swallowed the food in his
mouth to be able to reply to that. �It�happened a long time ago. I merely told
it so you would understand the importance of keeping it secret. Of course, you
could very well go and tell the authorities of my existence, I suppose there�s
nothing stopping you from doing that either.�

Tatsuki slammed her fist down on
the table angrily. �Like Hell there ain�t! You didn�t deserve any of that! If
someone ever has a problem with you again, I�ll be the first to beat the crap
out of them!� A quick glance from Soi-Fong to her and she backpedaled
nervously. �O-Okay, maybe the second.�

�I have to say I never understood
why they did that to you, but after seeing you in action tonight I can hazard a
guess. I�ll wait until you tell us more though until I say anything,� Yoruichi
said cautiously.

�About that, why did you tell me
about it?� Kin asked straight out.

He chuckled as he finished his
mouthful. �Mostly because you�re the daughter of the woman I owe my life to, but
partly because I respect your morals and skills, and partly because you�re
married to a man that has his share of questionable abilities as well. I don�t
know if the day will ever come when I can be as open as Kaien with his powers,
but I respect him for how he lives, and how you�ve lived.�

The only sound Kin made was a
strangled �gah� that may or may not have been voluntary as red flamed to life
on her mocha cheeks, and Yoruichi and Tatsuki laughed as Soi-Fong fought to
contain her mirth.

They waited until they next spoke
to when the two were finished eating their supper, but the second they were
Tatsuki wasn�t able to contain herself anymore. �So what�s the deal with your
zanpakutou anyways??�

His odd half-smile was strangely
melancholic. �You know, this world has a large effect on Soul Society, from
their myths and legends to the very souls that are eventually sent to the
Society. Out of curiosity, I looked up the name �Izanami� when I came here. Do
you know what they wrote about her in this world�s mythology?�

�Izanami�� Kin pondered aloud.
�Oh! I know! Izanami was one of the first gods, right? She and her husband
Izanagi supposedly made Japan
and all that. Didn�t she die in childbirth?�

�Your reputation of intelligence
is well earned,� he said with an impressed nod of his head. �Yes, and Izanagi,
so devastated by her death, went to the underworld, Yomi, to retrieve her
personally. Once there, the darkness prevented him from seeing his wife, but
she said she would go barter with the lord of the underworld. However, his
thirst for truth overcame him, and in curiosity he set his comb aflame and saw
her as she truly was: decomposing, with maggots all over her once beautiful
flesh. She had become a resident of Yomi.

�Izanami flew into a rage, and
chased the fleeing Izanagi to the exit of the underworld while trying to kill
him. He set a stone against the opening to Yomi, and as a final curse Izanami
swore that if he was to leave her there she would kill one thousand humans
every day. However, Izanagi knew the truth, and couldn�t allow her out.
Reluctantly, he agreed, and answered her by saying he would create fifteen
hundred new lives every day. And so, Death came into the world as a result of
Izanami.�

Soi-Fong fought the urge to
shiver. �Humans can come up with the strangest things.�

Yoruichi on the other hand, was
pale. �Fallen Mother��

He grinned. �Ah, so you got that
too? Indeed, the comparison was unsettling, but her abilities do seem to
suggest something along those lines. Even in human myths and legends, there is
always a grain of truth, or something very real that sparks their creation.
Don�t ask me what that may be, but it�s usually the case.�

�What does that have to do with
your zanpakutou?� Tatsuki asked confusedly.

He sighed. �Not very much, I�ll
admit, I was just amazed by the comparison of her abilities to that of the
legend. All things considered, Izanami isn�t a very strong zanpakutou in
physical combat when released. However, what she lacks in pure physical might
she makes up for in abilities. Other zanpakutous may have different techniques
they can use, but she is the only one I have ever encountered to have so many
completely different abilities, each with what could be called their own set of
techniques.�

�Such as?� Kin asked in rapt
attention, and if Soi-Fong was trying to seem uninterested she was failing
miserably.

�I think the easiest way to
explain it is what I call the three C�s. Copy, Create, and Control. Of course
Copy is only a loose interpretation. �Know� might suit it better.�

�You still haven�t explained why
you�re telling us all this,� Soi-Fong noted quietly, and he stilled.

�We�ve seen the things that are
apparently coming after me, and we know for sure that one was once a fellow
Shinigami. No matter what happened to him, he came back an enemy not only to me
but to Soul Society as well. If, by any circumstance, they were able to do the
same thing to me and I became a threat not only to my division, but to you, you
have to know the best way to defeat me.�

All the blood drained from her
face until it became a pale white. �Are you telling me you�re telling us this
so we can kill you if something ever happens!?� His eyes moved to the
side, not wanting to meet her gaze, and she suddenly felt sick. She grabbed his
shirt and violently pulled him to face her. �Now you listen to me�� she
whispered worryingly as tears threatened to spill from her eyelids, �I will not
allow that to happen. You�re too important to me��

He gave her his lopsided smile as
he ran his sleeved hand down the side of her face comfortingly. �You�re
important to me too, that�s why I�m telling you this.� He turned back to the
others. �If you ever fight Izanami�fight me�you can�t, absolutely cannot,
allow her to cut you if she�s released. That�s my biggest weakness, for her
abilities to be infallible she has to have the enemy�s blood on her blade.
Though some work without it, the deadliest are available when she has that
medium.�

A collective gulp was issued from
the other side of the table, even though all three of the women were captain
class or higher.

�Is one of her abilities how you
knew I was thinking of looking up information on you?� the braided woman
offered reluctantly. She didn�t want to have this conversation anymore, but she
couldn�t leave, and she knew it was important despite her own protests.

He nodded again. �Copy. If I know
the name of my opponent, I can write it and instantly get a feeling of their
thoughts. It�s nothing certain, and definitely not specific, but it gives me a
general idea of their thought processes and what they�re thinking of.�

�And if you have their blood?�
Tatsuki asked with a grimace that showed she already knew what would probably
happen.

�If I have their blood, she
copies everything. I�ll know what they�ve thought recently, how they talk and
how they fight, and I�ll be able to use that against them. It�s very useful in
psychological combat, you wouldn�t be surprised at how many people lose their
cool when confronted with themselves.�

�And imagine what would happen if
that ability was used against Soul Society,� Kin murmured in disgust. �You
could learn every secret Center Forty-Six has ever tried to hide. Of course
they�d try to kill you��

�And Create? What�s that?�

�Exactly what it means,� he
responded simply as he summoned Izanami into his hand and after muttering her
release under his breath, the jeweled pen once again took its place in his
hand. He drew a simply shuriken in the air, and the three that hadn�t seen this
particular ability watched the lines the pen made with fascination. When it was
done and he spun the pen, causing it to disappear and the drawing to gain
corporeal form, mouths dropped. �This is the one ability that to my knowledge,
blood has no effect on. As long as I can draw it, she can bring it to life. Of
course, the instant I try to draw something else what I�ve already drawn will
disappear, so I have to make sure I�ve got everything covered. Before, that was
never a problem, but now��

�You can�t draw as fast with your
left hand,� his date added softly, disgusted at herself for having to say it.

Another nod. �Yes. The power
increases with the amount of detail added, so I was stronger with my right hand
as well. And Control? Well, you�ve all seen what that does. Unlike Create,
which doesn�t need blood at all, Control does nothing unless she has blood as
an intermediary between command and the commanded. You�ve seen the power she
has when that happens, Soi-Fong. Regardless of how much stronger they are than
me, how much stronger any opponent is than me, if I write the word �die�
in their blood they have no choice but to die.�

�So let me get this straight,�
Kin said after fighting off the shiver that had evoked. �If you had my blood on
that little pen, you could tell me to punch a hole in that wall and I�d do it,
no questions asked?�

His gaze was tormented. �Little
Princess, I could tell you to kill your husband and as long as I had your
blood, you would do it, or die trying, no questions asked. I�m sure, out of all
the abilities my team had ever been told of, that was the one that sealed my
fate. Copy can�t tell me all of their secrets, but Control on the other hand
could make them tell them to me willingly. Imagine what would happen if an
enemy ever had an ability like that? To be able to cut an opponent and by
simply writing a single order, have possibly even the most loyal captain
turning against their own men? There�s one drawback though, using Control only
allows one command at a time, so if I told someone to stop, I wouldn�t be able
to tell them anything else until I cut them again. Of course, if I told them to
stop, that wouldn�t be too hard, and one order is too much power as it is over
any one person. Why out of all the people, did my zanpakutou have to
have abilities like this?�

Soi-Fong felt her stomach turn. However,
his thirst for truth overcame him, and in curiosity he set his comb aflame and
saw her as she truly was: decomposing, with maggots all over her once beautiful
flesh. It was exactly like him. He was beautiful, there was no doubt about
that, but under his flesh was a tormented spirit rich in hatred and
self-loathing. It hurt to think that even as happy as he could sound, his
disability was something that he could never forget, and rightfully so. It was
a wound both physical and emotional, and at his heart his very nature had been
tainted both by the loss of his team and by the loss of his art, his arm and
eye.

�Copy, Create, and Control. Know
The Fruits Of Your Labor, Righteous Goddess. Weep While You Destroy, Fallen
Mother,� she described gently, and Gwydion gave a sad chortle.

�Not a very hard concept to
understand, is it?�

�But what about tonight? What in
the hell was that halberd?� Tatsuki queried instantly.

That caused him to laugh.
Either she hadn�t been listening, or she just didn�t know how ironic her words
were. �In this world�s myths, Izanami is not only the goddess of creation, but
also of death. The only thing I can think of to describe that is just that.
Death. I�m not stupid enough to think that my zanpakutou was the original god
of death or anything like that, but the comparison is there. Like I said, she
lacks pure physical power and makes up for it in abilities, but when I�m truly
angry, when I willingly want to cause pain and I honestly hate, Izanami can
feed off that if I choose to release her like that. If the pen is the Righteous
Goddess, the halberd is the Fallen Mother. She has no overly-special abilities
in that form, just one very simple one. Pain. She will take my anger, my pain,
my hate, then take whatever the opponent has ever felt that caused them pain,
and in layman�s terms: multiply it. And I feel�nothing, no remorse, just hate�and
anger. I�I can�t describe it accurately. Before, I had only released her like
that once, but now I feel I could almost do it whenever I want, and that�� His
hand trembled, and Izanami vanished back into his spiritual body.

�It�s okay,� Soi-Fong comforted
gently, one of very few for her. �You don�t need to say any more, we
understand.�

�So it�s Copy, Create, Control,
and for all intents and purposes, Kill. I�d hate to see that sucker�s Bankai,�
Tatsuki joked cheerily, and thankfully it had the desired effect, and got the
overall feeling of foreboding and sadness out of the room.

Or almost.

�I wouldn�t,� Gwydion whispered
ever so softly, and the room once again went quiet. �Everyone else in this room
either has reached Bankai or had reached it at one point in time, how can you
possibly understand what I feel when it comes to Izanami?�

Tatsuki gulped nervously.

�I�ve been able to materialize
her since my time in the Second Division. She�s my best friend, my ally in
battle, and for close to two hundred years I didn�t hear nary a whisper from
her after what happened. Can you understand having to learn how to use your
zanpakutou from scratch? How many years it took me to be able to draw
fast enough to even consider using her again!? Do you know what it feels
like to be so close to letting your best friend release their true strength,
and instead having to learn the basics of the basics again!? Could you possibly
understand feeling unworthy of the very blade you carry!?� His sleeve was
bunched in his tightening fist, and he swallowed heavily as he tried to clear his
head. �I apologize for the outburst, Lieutenant. Just know this; Bankai is
nothing but a star in another universe to me now.�

Soi-Fong�s insides turned over
themselves. He truly was tormented, and every aspect of his life had been
changed that day so long ago. She could relate. �Bankai or not, Gwydion, you
have to know something too. I�ll fight with every fiber of my being against
anything that tries to take you from me, so I definitely won�t allow them to
capture you. I�ll be your Bankai, I�ll protect you.� It was a testament to her
feelings that she said those things while still in the presence of other
people�it could be argued though that she had simply forgotten about their
existence�and it was the turn the conversation was taking that made the
aforementioned people sneak away inconspicuously.

His sad eyes were bright with
what she could only describe as hope as he smiled tenderly at her. �It�s funny,
those should be my lines. It doesn�t matter, I�ll fight as hard as I can to
stay. I�m sorry about the pity-party, I�ve been losing my cool more often than
I have�well, ever. I�I feel like I�ve been saying this a lot lately, but I
simply can�t get over how you make me feel. I feel like a teenager with a
crush, not wanting anything to go wrong, wanting to play the hero, wanting to
see his Juliet every second of every day. I woke up this morning and
practically the first person that came to mind was you. I�ve never felt
anything this strongly.�

She felt her skin heating up
under his gaze. �I think I know what you mean,� she confessed in an embarrassed
whisper. �Does that make any sense?�

His hand reached towards her
slowly, and the sleeve fell away from his hand just in time for him to caress
the side of her jaw. She shivered at the contact, and was unable to resist when
she felt him carefully guiding her head forward. �It makes perfect sense�if
you�re feeling what I�m feeling.�

And at long last, the kiss that
had been interrupted earlier was completed.

She knew she would never get over
the way he kissed her, how he could guide her so easily and perfectly she
forgot all about her lack of knowledge in the area. He tilted his head to
deepen the kiss and she lost herself, every sense knowing only the sensations
he was making in her. Her hands itched for something, the urge to do
something, and before she knew it she had wound her arms around his neck and into
his hair and they were kissing with a passion so fierce it literally took her
breath away.

She could feel it, the burning
she was so unfamiliar with gradually gaining strength in her thighs, and though
her lungs ached, she could honestly say she never wanted it to end. He gave her
no choice in the matter, but as soon as they both had a little fresh oxygen
back in their systems they were back together, and any complaints she might
have had were forgotten instantly. It was so intense her insides trembled, and
she had never felt her arousal coming on so strongly before.

They pulled away from each other
unwillingly, still so close their hot breaths could be felt on each other�s
skin. She still wanted more, she could feel it, but there was another feeling
there as well.

�Please�tell me it�s this intense
for you,� she breathed brokenly as she fought the urge to touch him more. This
ferocity was terrifying in a whole new way.

His heavy breathing was answer
enough for the normally collected man, but even so he took one of her hands in
his and kissed it softly before fixing his bright violet gaze on her. �I�ve
never felt anything like it. Before I met you I never lost control, and now I
feel like the metaphorical man up a creek without a paddle. I feel so alive
when I�m with you, the past centuries feel like nothing but a blur. You�ve
given me more memories in the past few weeks than whole spans of years have in
the past. I can�t help but wonder what on earth you�re doing to me, Soi-Fong.�

She smiled in untamed amusement
as a spontaneous urge overtook her and she gave him a chaste kiss. �Now you�re
the one stealing my lines.�

She felt so much better, knowing
she wasn�t alone. It was a nice feeling. It did really feel nice to be special
to someone in this way, and knowing what she did now, she was almost
embarrassed at how she used to behave. At the very least, she couldn�t get
upset at all the lovebirds in the Association now.

This, she could get used to.

~~~~~~~~~

Another night.

The same nightmare.

Gwydion woke up with a start,
clutching what was once his right arm as he panted for breath. His skin was so
slick with terror-induced sweat he could feel the dampness of the covers over
him and he sighed brokenly as he wiped his wet hair away from his face. Just
one night. I thought that after a night as good as this one I�d be able to
escape it just once. He looked over at the alarm clock near his bed and
groaned when he read the bright digital readout of three in the morning.

He could feel the strain on his
muscles from the fight of the night before, but mostly it was the forced
awakening after so little sleep that made his body so heavy. His mind was
buzzing though his body was exhausted, and that meant he wasn�t going to be
able to get back to sleep. He had spent the first year after his ordeal with
every night the same, so he was well acquainted with nights like these. Come to
think of it, it was only after that year that he started having naps in trees
around lunchtime.

His body protested the movement,
but he knew his mind would protest going to bed even more, so he pulled himself
out of bed and showered before attaching his prosthetic and dressing in his
usual clothes. He couldn�t meditate on days like these, meditation was too
close to sleep, and he was never able to focus because of all the images that
would assault him during what was supposed to be a more peaceful time.

As he stepped out into the night
the crisp air washed through his body and he sighed happily. Nature never
failed to make him feel better, even though the city poisoned that beauty he
wasn�t against leaving until he found a place of solace. As it was, he quickly
found himself back at the gigantic tree he had taken to sleeping in as the days
wore on, and it didn�t take him long to be back on one of the highest branches,
still thicker than his own width.

Why he couldn�t just get back to
sleep was a question he could never answer, so he simply slumped back against
the trunk of the giant tree and watched the speckle of the streetlights illuminate
areas of the city. Though he understood the concept, it was times like these he
found himself missing the Rukon districts, where only the odd paper lantern
took away from the brilliance of the stars. Even here, they were bright in the
sky and the moon was an invigorating crescent of light, yet it was mostly lost
to those in the city. Where he was, the natural light was gentle, coating his
skin in an ethereal glow as he played with one of his kunai. Dexterity he had
never lost in his left hand, but writing was still a chore for him.

�What, no words of wisdom for me?
I basically just gave away any advantage I might have ever held, so why the
quiet?� He asked the air in a sarcastically mocking tone, and sure enough, the
sound of gentle laughter rang out soon after.

�Your pessimism never ceases
to amaze me,� Izanami laughed as she materialized beside him in all her
graceful magnificence. �Or did you just need the company?�

He smirked halfheartedly. �A bit
of both I suppose. I just�don�t want to be alone right now.�

Her inky stare warmed. �That
past is the past. Even now, what you said may have compromised the secret you
worked so hard to keep, but what you�ve gained because of that is something
that cannot be measured.�

�What I�ve gained?�

She nodded. �You have fought
the winds of change for so long you know not even when you have opened your
sails. There are only a few fates available to those given power. They can
either fall into obscurity, afraid of their own potential; they can maximize
their strength to put themselves above others, believing their gift gives them
that right; or there is the rare exception, where they use that strength to
bolster not only themselves, but others along the way. You know how much impact
one person can have, and sometimes the power one is given is nothing but the
power to change another person�s life. What you did tonight was trust, and
there will assuredly be ripples made in our fate because of that.�

He sighed as he offered her a wry
grin. �Every other time you make the answer so clear I can�t deny it, and you
choose now to be cryptic?�

She raised her eyebrows to him
with an impossibly elegant shrug. �Was I cryptic? You�re changing, Gwydion,
and as you change you are changing people around you. You�re worried, because
you are realizing you were not as invisible to those around you as you thought,
and as you continue to make choices in the future there will be repercussions
felt in those ties. Put simply, you are frightened.�

�Of course I�m scared!!� He
retorted instantly. �I�ve made sure no one has gotten close to me in decades!
Centuries! Now I�ve got a captain that knows too much for his own good, a
lieutenant that�s surprisingly adept at catching me off guard, and a woman
who�s making me feel so many things sometimes I think I don�t know which way is
up anymore! Just looking at her makes me feel things, and the last time I was
in a similar situation everyone close to me ended up dead!

�I�m seeing so many sides of her,
the longer we stay together it just makes me want to tell her more�be with her
more! I�m impulsive around her, irrational; God, possessive even! Everything�s
happening so fast, I�m terrified of the thought of losing her and I don�t even
have the strength to protect her! But she wants to protect me!�

Izanami chuckled. �She has
more than enough strength.�

�I know!� He shouted, and calmed slightly
after that. �I know�. She�s absolutely amazing, there�s never been a doubt in
my mind about that. What can I do for her though?�

�Now that is one question you do
know the answer to. You are in much the same position as her, your fears are
most likely mirrored.�

That settled him down quickly,
his tired body unable to stop his overactive mind from absorbing those words.
What she meant quickly revealed itself to him in his memories, the trembling
body held so closely to him, staring into his eyes with fear reflected in her
normally emotionless grey orbs. �I know�I know what she means.�

�You see? No matter how strong
a person portrays themselves to be, how much weaker then is the interior that
fierce exterior is protecting? You of all people should know that.�

Gwydion laughed in bitter disgust
at that as he shook his face in his hand, like he was just now realizing
something he never should have overlooked. �We really are alike, aren�t we? I
was so caught up in keeping up my charade I forget when she drops hers. She�s
changed even more than I have�she�s just as scared as I am��

�The harder the walls, the
softer the core. You may doubt your power, but you and you alone have been
given one ability above all others.�

He nodded resolutely. �Even if a
man doesn�t need to protect the woman he cares for, there is always something
in his care none but he can guard. No matter what the circumstances, there is
always an equality in love it seems I�ve forgotten about. I can�t stagnate, I
have to get stronger too. She needs me just as much as I need her.�

�And that,� Izanami said
proudly, �is a decision that will lead to true change. Dwelling on the past
is the same as staying in it, focus not on what you failed to protect, set your
eyes forward and swear to protect that which is still within reach. As you
said, your life is your own to live, and regardless of how often you forget,
you are not alone anymore.�

To her surprise, that caused him
laugh, and it wasn�t the same bitter chuckle she was used to. �I was never
alone, I just chose to be. It wasn�t that you wouldn�t speak to me over all
those long years, it was that I couldn�t listen�I realize that now.�

Her radiant smile almost caused
him to fall off the branch and she stroked her hand through his hair and over
his ear lovingly. �It took a strong heart to admit that. You can become more
powerful than you believe, Gwydion; you just need to think that you can.�

�I�� he started hesitantly, �I�ll
try. I need to, for her.�

She looked so much different from
usual, he had only seen her like this a handful of times since she had chosen
him. She was smiling, but for once her smile was reaching her rich coal colored
eyes. �Ahh,� she sighed joyfully as the first strands of sunlight began
shooting over the back of the hill behind the tree they were sitting in. �The
dawn of a true transformation feels different than a normal sunrise, does it
not? Even the air smells crisper. You may waver, but as long as you keep sight
of that light your heart will never truly fall into darkness again. I�ll do everything
in my power to help you, your world is such a beautiful one, but without your
resolve I am left trapped in never ending darkness. Never forget who you are,
and who you want to be. You know now you are not alone my friend, and as you
change it will effect others, but it is up to you whether that be for the
better or the worse.�

�Lucky for me I have a couple of
people who will tell me if I�ve strayed too far, right?�

Her smile was so wide her eyes
squinted closed in an adorable fashion that belied how old she really was. �You
can count on me, though I would be quite sure her method might involve a little
more pain.�

He smiled back as he coughed to
hide his amusement at her very realistic assessment of Soi-Fong. �As can you, I
promise, Izanami. I�ll become the person you chose back then, I�ll become
worthy of your strength again.�

She grinned as she shook her head
in exasperated amusement. She stroked his hair one more time and he felt his
eyelids droop sleepily under her tender touch. �Sleep. Fear not the past,
fight for the future.�

He nodded half-lucidly as
everything caught up with him, and it vaguely occurred to him that it might
have been Izanami keeping him awake the whole time. In no time at all he was
laying on the branch like he did every day later on, unknowing of her lap under
his head.

The zanpakutou spirit looked down
on her partner with pride in her usually sorrowful eyes. �You have always
been worthy, Gwydion. You only need to realize it yourself.�

~~~~~~~~~

For one of the few times in her
life, Soi-Fong woke up with a smile on her face.

It felt weird, and even more invigorating
when she remembered why she had woken
up with a smile. The previous night�s events were fresh in her mind, and though
his reasons for telling them about his zanpakutou had been disconcerting at
best, the kisses of later were too indescribable for her to care anymore.

She shot upwards when she noticed
the sun pouring in through the screened window, and realized that once again,
she had slept in far past her norm. Her body was obviously still making up for
the energy it took to grow her however many years it had added to her. That
didn�t make her feel any better though, while she was asleep, Gwydion was
unprotected. At least while she was awake she could monitor his reiatsu, asleep
she was useless. As much as that might make her want to post officers in the
shadows around him, he had too many secrets that she knew he needed to keep for
that to be a viable option.

After the shopping spree Yoruichi
had so gleefully taken her on, she now had a wide variety of clothing to choose
from, and that definitely wasn�t something she was used to in any sense of the
term. She grabbed another pair of jeans�still in their bags from the stores�and
a new halter top before adding her cloth sleeves to her arms and checking her
hair.

She had sensed him almost
immediately after waking up, she had already memorized his reiatsu, she could
still feel it on her skin. It radiated a different kind of strength, one she
wasn�t familiar with, but one she didn�t mind at all. It made her feel�safe.
Even his scent, a strange combination of cold air, trees, and something
uniquely his, made a feeling she had never known before rise in her, and it was
something she liked.

It honestly felt foreign, for her
to wake up as happy as she had, and even now, to still feel it. She had never
really been a happy person, but as she was it felt like nothing could make her
angry. She was so used to being easily pissed she didn�t know how to respond to
this side of her, but in the end she decided to leave it be and go get
something to eat.

That happy feeling in her chest
lasted the entire walk to the kitchen�

�and died a quick and painful death
when she saw the Association waiting for her, calmly eating a meal�she didn�t
know which one�around the large table, and members that weren�t there yesterday
were present.

�G�dafternoon sleepyhead!�
Yoruichi greeted happily as the others turned to look at the new arrival.

�Please tell me you aren�t here to get more details,� she groaned as
she fought the almost instant headache seeing the group gave her.

�We decided to stay the night,�
Rukia offered instead. �Wasn�t much point in all of us making the trip back
when we were here anyways.�

�Yeah, and Ikki and I haven�t
been back to visit in a while. It�s kinda embarrassing to have a brother who
travels around the world and still makes it back every month,� Masaki added.

�And yup, you better believe we�re
getting more details outta you!� Rangiku finished cheerfully, and at that
Soi-Fong sighed.

It figured.

�What else is there to tell?� She
scoffed in annoyance. �You watched most of it.�

�Well if I was told right your
company left just as it was getting to the good parts. Come on, you gotta
spill!� Asuka Ishida teased with her usual catty grin, after nearly swallowing her
chopsticks at the changes she was seeing for the first time. �Besides, I didn�t get to see! Did�ja at least get
a kiss goodnight?�

At that reminder the feelings
came back, and where she found it she didn�t know, but she was able to give the
hybrid bluehead a rather sultry grin.
The whole table almost fell over in shock, but Soi-Fong merely licked her lips,
like she had no idea what she was doing, and Yoruichi very nearly fainted. �I�d
rather not tell, thank you. Is there any food left?�

Isane nodded numbly, and Soi-Fong
strode confidently over the counter to see what the selection was as the women
at the table murmured amongst themselves at the impossibility of nature that
had just been shown to them, though truthfully most of their murmurs were
confused ramblings that minimally bordered human cohesion.

The doorbell rang, and Rangiku
all but ran to answer it. She would take any excuse she could get to find some
semblance of her wits, and at that moment it meant getting away from the grown
and surprisingly sensual Soi-Fong. She wasn�t used to losing them to any other instance
other than to her sake�and her Shiro, but that was another matter altogether.

The only thing the women heard
was the door opening, and a strangled feminine gasp in Rangiku�s unique tone that
sounded like something between a wheeze, a choke, and a stunned gawk. The
strawberry-blonde came running back into the room, gaping like a fish as she
pointed over her shoulder desperately, though no words were coming from her
mouth as she panted for breath, doubled over from effort.

�What�s wrong with her?� Soi-Fong
asked confusedly, and the other women just looked on in the same confusion.

�Again with stealing my lines. I
was going to ask that same thing.�

Soi-Fong dropped the plate she
had been gathering food on the moment he walked into the room, and the plate
shattered noisily on the floor, though no one seemed to hear it.

Who �he� was was debatable. At
least, she knew the voice, but who she was looking at as the body entered the
vicinity was something that only her subconscious recognized, because though
her plate had dropped instantly, it took her mind a few seconds to place the
man.

What was around his neck was his
usual music player, the earphones dangling typically on either side of it, but
they weren�t over a robe-sleeved shirt, instead there was a white button-up over
his gymnast physique. The left sleeve had an almost tribal design on it, likely
to bring attention away from the right, though that too wasn�t hiding a black arm,
even though the hand on that arm was covered in a thin white glove and placed
inconspicuously in the pocket of his black jeans. She couldn�t see any straps
under the shirt either, and if one looked closely what could be seen under the
white shirt�s right sleeve was indeed flesh colored, or close to.

As if soaking in all the tight
flesh and muscle shown by that fitted shirt wasn�t enough, the face above that
shirt was what had her gaping. His hair, once nearly down to his waist, wasn�t.
What she found herself looking at instead was pitch-black ink�no remnants of
the blonde tips left�swept back tightly behind his ears and head until it
stopped behind his neck at his shoulders in a professional, businesslike look
that accentuated all of his features with masculine grace. With that his
brilliant violet eyes were unobstructed, not even framed by his once lengthy
bangs. The sensual orbs surrounded by perfect, pale flesh reminiscent of tawny
marble had her practically choking on her tongue, and once more his eye-patch
was nowhere to be found. The way he held himself was the same as always, and
she felt like she was going to melt into the ground.

�Good afternoon Soi-Fong. I see I
interrupted your lunch; sorry about that.�

She stood there for a few more
moments, unable to process that words had been spoken to her as her mouth
flapped uselessly in an effort to speak.

�Is this a bad time?�

She shook herself free of her
stare, and he was unprepared for her to tear out of the room, but not before
grabbing his left arm and pulling him with her. She made them round the nearest
corner out of earshot and let him go, though her stare was just as wide as it
had been since he entered the room. �Wha�Wha�Wha�?�

He smirked proudly as his eye
gleamed. �I figured it wasn�t fair that only you changed. I�ve been holding on
to my past for so long I practically forgot everything else, but you made me
realize there are other things in this life I want to hold on to, and that some
things just have to be let go if I want to do that. I know it won�t happen
overnight, but I wanted a change I could see first, and one you could too. I
don�t look too different for you�do I?�

She gulped heavily to wet her dry
throat, and she realized with no small amusement how the situations had been
reversed from the first time he saw her growth. �Of�of course not. You look�u-um�v-very
handsome.� He gave her another grateful smile and her heart started making
strange sounds in her chest. �B-But what about your arm?�

That he expected, and he tapped
the appendage with his left hand to prove the other arm was just as false as
his last one. �This is the one Retsu-dono made for me all those years ago. It
may not have the same special modifications as Urahara-sama�s, but it does look
a lot more realistic. It adheres right to my right shoulder, so there�s no need
of straps, and it has been specified to my flesh tone. It�s quite comfortable
to be honest.�

�But then why? Why wear the other
one that stood out so plainly?� She asked, unable to contain the question like
her tact so desperately wanted her to.

He didn�t shy away from the
question however, he simply smiled in pitiful melancholy. �Besides the obvious strategic
weapon placements, I�I was terrified of admitting that I could move on. I
thought my life would be over, and for centuries I lived that way. The
prosthetic never let me forget how different I was, and I wanted that. I won�t,
probably can�t, forget about what happened, but I don�t want to dwell on it
anymore. You don�t deserve that. It�ll take some getting used to, and I know I
probably won�t stop wearing my other shirts in the meantime, but I think it�s
time. I want this to work, want us to
work, so I don�t want to be the one dragging us down while you move forward.�

God, if he only knew how much
pride he had just given her. She couldn�t suppress her warm smile, and as he
looked into her gentle grey eyes he smiled back and adjusted some of her hair
that had fallen out of place in her desperate run. Damn it all, her eyes
started fluttering on her again, but she felt too impossibly fuzzy inside to
notice. She had wanted to help him, and without her knowledge she actually had
just by being by him. She�d be lying if she said the same wasn�t true with him,
and that was what made her so happy. She had the same effect on him he had on
her.

As if magnetized, their lips
touched tenderly, not in the least bit inhibited by the fact they were still in
a hallway. It never increased in force, it just deepened, and the unknown had
Soi-Fong melting against him as the world fell away.

So�she thought happily as his heat poured into her from their
meeting lips, this is love�

And the weeks passed�

~~~~~~~~~~~

Author�s Notes: Wow, I don�t know why I enjoyed writing this
chapter so much, I just did. I hope you enjoyed it too!

Watcher, wow, thank you so much
for the review. That was awesome. And bite your tongue on the bad my friend.
Anything can happen.

xSTALKERx, happy early birthday!
Hope you liked the chapter as much as you have the others, I�m hyped to see
your response, like always!

Moonymuch, no problem. I�ll be
happy to keep you up to date. I do get a lot out of your input too, if not just
motivation from your continued encouragement.

Please keep reading, rating, and
reviewing! It makes it all worth it!

Thanks for reading and I hope you
enjoyed the chapter everyone!
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That Dreaded Word