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All Started With a Book	By : BellaFeylin Category: Bleach > Het - Male/Female Views: 1731 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Bleach isnt mine. Nothing is mine and no money being made.

Chapter List
- 1-All Started With a Book
- 1
Author note: This first bit of stuff between them I based heavily off an interaction I had with a friend rp’ing a very similar scene between the two. My friend goes by Shiba_Uchiha but isn’t a fanfic’er so if there is someone else out there by a similar name who is clueless please don’t flame. I am tweaking and expanding upon the rp scene to fit this AU world I’m doing in Bleach with the other Fic Education for Treason. This is a bit after Shunsui leaves Jushiro’s house after that first bit of document reading.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine and no money being made.

After washing my dishes from my delicious but lacking dinner, I put them away. Once that is finished then I can curl on my sofa up with a drink and a book. I push my glasses back to where they should sit; they drooped some while I was cleaning up. So what should I start tonight? I bought that cheesy romance novel. No, I’m not in the mood for mindless drivel. Maybe that encyclopedic collection of folkloric monsters should be interesting? No, sounds too much like work and would probably keep me up all night, not from fear but excitement. I need something dull enough I can sleep soon but still interesting. I could always reread some fairy tales? Yes, that sounds good. I pour myself a glass of wine once at the couch.
            My captain’s spirit pressure is near by, and he is heading over here. I sigh and set my fairy tales down and go over to the door waiting for the intrusion. It is after 11, he should be out doing other things by now. Also if he thinks he is going to spend an evening here causing mischief he is very wrong. He did none of the paper work today. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind tonight.
            There is a knock at the door. “Little Nanao, please let me in.” He sounds bothered. The goofy singsong is missing from his voice and his energy is off too. Maybe someone is hurt? I go over to the door and let him in.
He is him. If he wasn’t so powerful, he would be a dandy. A woman’s coat worn over his Captain’s uniform. I seriously wonder how he ever got permission. Even this late at night he has on a straw hat to hide from the sun or rain in. His hair is long and flowing but up in a ponytail accented by a woman’s hair pin. All this finished off with a light sea green belt that is too wide and silky. All his extra layers and a person can still see most of his hairy chest. He has a bag in his hand of take out, I think. He reeks of sake but strangely it is coming more from his clothes, than from his breath. I’m sure he has had a few drinks, it is him after all, but it seems as though he is wearing more than he drank. After pulling off his hat and staring me in the eyes, I can see a number of things in his. The first of which is he is sober and the second is he is deeply troubled. The corners of his eyes are tight and his eyebrows are all filled with worry.
            I look him up and down “Captian, could you please come in?” He just nods and walks past me, something is bothering him very much. “You stink Captian.” I go to take his coats from him. He gives them up without protest and smiles at my complaint.
            “You are always thinking about practical things My Lil Nanao.” He sighs and pulls me into his arms once the coats are removed.
            “Except that wasn’t a practical concern. That was rather superficial.” Usually I’d be hitting him by now but he isn’t trying to grope or do anything inappropriate. He is just holding me. Something is horribly wrong. “Captain?”
            “Little Nanao, would you ever leave me?” His eyes are watching my every move.
            “I’m not sure what you are asking of me? Captain you would never let me transfer if that is what you are asking. I don’t plan to either.” I look up into his face trying to read it but he looks lost. “Just do your share of the paperwork.” Now I am lost; I know that can’t be what he is asking. “Tell me what is wrong.” I say it firmer, more like I would normally speak with him.
            He sighs and looks around the room, then at me. His eyes light up slightly at the sight of what I am wearing. But not as much as they should, seeing me in something he gave me. I am in a light turquoise yukata with a print of violet and grey fans. He gave me the silver and black obi to go with it too. “Lil Nanao you look lovely. You had no intention of showing me did you? I’m hurt.” He looks at me and the playfulness of his words doesn’t match his face at all.
            “You’re right I didn’t.” I look up at him and just let him continue to hold me. He isn’t drunk. He isn’t even very tired but something has him very shaken. I hug him back. “Captian Kyoraku what is wrong?”
            That shocks him out of it. Me, being affectionate back, isn’t something I have done in years. He kisses the top of my head and breathes in the scent of my hair. “Lil Nanao, I have had a miserable day.”
I speak into his neck loud enough for him to hear. “Why?”
“One of our captians is being betrayed by the one he most trusts and I honestly can’t find fault with the decision. The worst part is it is completely legal. The methods the person is using is an official rule…” He grips me tighter. “My Lil Nanao would never do that to me would she?”
            I push him away a little so I can speak easier. “Captain is that why you are here? You are afraid of me turning on you?” The ridiculousness of the idea, I mean I might give him brain damage for being stupid but no, I wouldn’t turn on him. I let my feelings show on my face.

            He shakes his head. “I don’t. Not really. I just needed to see you.” He squeezes me tighter. He removes the clip on my hair and tosses it to the table before burying his face back into my hair.
            “Captain, I’m not sure that this is, still, appropriate.” I manage to wiggle an arm free enough to put it between us and set it on his chest. “Calm down. Quit being weird. And just breath.” I say with firmness again, sometimes he listens if I just boss him around. If he is as shaky as this it may work.
            He stops, looks me in the eyes and takes a deep breath.
            Good he listened “Come on Captian.” I smile at him. “I see you have brought something with you.” I look next to the open door where he dropped the bag of food. Smells really good, some curry is in there and it is him so there will be steamed buns in the bag. He doesn’t let me go though. He just turns his body to look where I am motioning. “Captian, We need to let go to shut the door and get to what ever your brought.” I reach over to the bottle of sake hanging on a clip from his belt. “Captain, how about we share some of the food you brought and have a few drinks?” I hold it up and set it on the table.
            He looks even sadder. “I must be a mess if My Lil Nanao isn’t scolding me.”
            I smirk. “Would that help? Go shut the door now you fool.” I just don’t have it in me right now. that was less than half hearten. I look up at him.
            He nods and kicks it shut, lightly.
I sigh, looks like I’m not escaping him anytime soon, not even his arms. “I’m not going anywhere Captain. I live here. I’m also not going to kick you out as long as you behave.”
            He smiles and looks down at me. His eyes look like they are starting to hold some of his normal light. He pets my hair. “Why did you stop coming over?”
            “What do you mean?”
“You used to play with me all the time. We had so many games, jokes and stories.” He says looking down at me.
I haven’t gone over to his house regularly since I was little, before I became an officer. The Captain used to read to me after Lisa…left. She used to read to me sometimes. She and I were really close. The Captain and I, we had thought she had died and bonded over missing her. He used to be so kind to me, not that he isn’t affectionate now, just back then he was more sincere.
            “My Lil Nanao never lets me read to her anymore or cook her dinner or hold her in my arms. She never spends the night anymore either.” He smushes me against his chest again before letting me push him back a little, enough to answer.
            I don’t know what to say. “Captain. I grew up… I became an officer.” Why is this, an issue now? “I needed to distance myself from you.”
            He looks me in the eyes. “Why, you have always been my officer. Why would you need distance from me?” He is watching my face.
            Why does he want to know this, now. It was years ago. “I was trying to prove myself. I didn’t always want to be thought of as your favorite, your pet.”
            “But you are. You will always be My Lil Nanao.” He pets my hair and looks at me.
Damn it, why is he being like this? He knows what I am trying to say. “I had to prove to the others that I deserved the promotions. I did earn them right?”
He smiles and starts laughing. He ends up throwing his head back laughing hard.
Please don’t tell me you promoted me for the wrong reasons. Please don’t do that to me Captain.
Then he looks down at me. He is smirking “You did. I could never challenge you enough. You surpassed everything I set before you.” He chuckles, “I never showed you any lenience like I did the others. I knew you wouldn’t have it. I never let you take short cuts.” He sighs “Once you attained shikai I knew you would be my Lieutenant one day.” His eyes lose the easiness they had for a few seconds. “None of that explains why you stopped eating dinner with me or bringing me books to read to you or even why you stopped coming to me with your problems.” He leans down and stares into my eyes. He touches his forehead to mine.
Sometimes it is like living with a force of nature. He is so intense. I need to get away for a moment and catch my breath. I try and pull out of his arms he doesn’t let go but does let me take a step back. “I needed to get away, to figure out who I am.” Why are we talking about this? He never wants to talk about real stuff. He never wants to be serious. Whatever he heard today must have really bothered him. I reach up brushing my thumb across his cheek stubble and look into his grey eyes. “Captain stop. Let me go and lets eat or sit in the other room?” I let him pull me back to him again.
“So you don’t hate me? You never did?” He stares into my eyes.
I shake my head and sigh, an exhausted sigh. “No Captain, I find you annoying at times and disapprove of some of your actions but I can’t hate you.” That last part is much softer. I think someone broke my Captain.
He nods slowly and looks at me. “Can we start again? I mean you are my Lieutenant now, no one would think badly of you now…” He trails off mumbling and just pets my hair, trying to fix the mess he made of it.
What the hell is he asking? “Captain let me go.” I need space to think. This was such a relaxing night before hurricane Shunsui came through. He lets go. I take a step back and he turns to shut the door. He picks up the food and looks at me.
His stomach growls. “Lil Nanao can we eat?”
I nod and smile trying not to laugh at him. “Did what ever get said today really bother you that bad?”
He ignores my question and opens the bag pulling out the contents sniffing them “Mmmm, Yummy. Lil Nanao are you hungry?”
I shake my head. “I will have some. Let me get something for us to eat off of.” There is no point in having beautiful dishes if they never get used. I have full sets of six in everything but I never get to use them. “We could eat at the table or in the living room if you want.” I look at him and just wait. He is going to react to and hear what ever he wants to anyway
He nods. “So what where you doing when I interrupted?” He looks at me.
“I had just finished dinner, which was too light, and sitting down to a bottle of wine and a book.” I look over at the bottle and the freshly poured glass, “I guess it has had time to breath…would you like some too?” I go get him a glass.
He nods. “What is my Lovely Lil Nanao reading?”
I blush slightly “I’m rereading Grim’s Fairy Tales”
            He perks up, alot. “That was the first book you had me read to you.”
            “I didn’t think you remembered that.” I look at him.
            “How could I forget the first few days with my Lil Nanao? You would cry in my arms for hours over Lisa. I never knew she was so close to anyone else. I do understand why she kept you a secret from me though. She wouldn’t have wanted to share you with me and I would have insisted.”
            “I remember. I was very demanding of your time and I sorry. I shouldn’t have.” I look away.
            “Why are you always sorry about wanting my attention? You did this dance then too. I want you to be selfish. I want you to want my time and attention. Please Lil Nanao be demanding again.” He looks at me.
            “Why?” I shake my head. “Why did you enjoy it in the first place?” I look at him confused. I have a stack of dishes in hand and lead him into the living area with the wine and book.
            “After Lisa…” he searches for the word, “Was taken. I was desperate to hold onto her. Every little shred of what was left. You held so much of that. You had stories I didn’t know. You were someone I could hold on to.” He looks at me. “I missed her. I still do but you made it easier.” He looks away. “I filled some of that void she left with my cruel Lil Nanao.”
            I don’t even know what to think. I set the dishes down and take the food from him setting it down in front of him. “Captain what are you saying?”
            “You keep your life so secret from me. I want to be in it again.” His stomach growls again and he looks down glaring at it. “Not now. This is more important.”
            I cover my mouth giggling. My captain who regularly makes a fool of himself is arguing with his stomach, verbally. This has been like some crazy dream. “How about this?” I get him to look up at me. “You eat. I’ll eat some with you. Then we continue talking and I won’t go anywhere. Short of the division burning down or Head Captain calling one of us; neither of us has to leave tonight.” I smile at him and as he starts to grin I add. “Please don’t make me regret this offer.”
            He shakes his head. “I won’t.” He quickly eats, a lot.
            “Did you not eat lunch either?” I look at him shocked at the amount of food he put away.
            He pauses to think. “Huh, no I didn’t.” he says thinking and a bit surprised. “I was with Jushiro all afternoon. I was helping him make sense of the…problem.” He trails off looking sad again.
            “Captain, I’m not plotting against you anything more than to get you to do your paperwork. What ever you are thinking about, it doesn’t apply between us. Calm down. I’m here.” My words speed up and it turns from affection to orders in the tone of my voice. I think the man may break down. He gets like this sometimes but he is always drunk when he does. I don’t think he has anymore alcohol in him. Maybe he was drunk this afternoon but not now. Now he is sober and depressed and being clingy. He hasn’t tried to grope or kiss me either. Something is really wrong. “Is Captain Ukitake all right?”
            He nods “Yeah, he is a bit flustered. He has been flirting with the woman all day and I was teasing him about it.” He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He sighs and looks at me. I haven’t seen him this vulnerable since we met.
            “You left Captain Ukitake alone to flirt with a woman plotting to kill a Captian, her Captain and you say it is fine?” I keep my words calm and measured.
He nods. “Yeah she means him no harm.”
“Captain please, you’re scaring me.” I let the pleading enter my voice hoping that will snap him out of it.
            He looks over at me a bit shocked. “I never want to do that to you.”
He sighs again and takes a sip of the glass of wine I poured him with his meal. He relaxes a tad before looking back to me and says. “You are so beautiful.” He eyes get kind of dark for a second “Any boyfriends or potentials at the moment?”
            He is back for the moment. I shake my head. “No Captain. I haven’t bothered in a while.” I smile at him. I’ll let him pry tonight. He scared me.
            “Why?” He looks confused by the statement.
            “I am too cold.” I pause to remember the many lines used at break up. “I can’t give the guy enough time or enough emotional heat or sex …” I shrug. “or whatever it is he wants from me.” I say curling my feet under me sitting sideways on the sofa to look directly at my Captain. I take a sip of my glass. “I have been accused regularly of being career obsessed and a frigid bitch” I say to him nodding almost laughing.
            “No, not you. My Lil Nanao is strict and maybe a bit busy at times, which is entirely my fault, but you aren’t cold. I can’t ever believe you to be frigid.” He looks over at me. Even he doesn’t try to deny my bitchiness.
            “I kind of am at times. Most of the men I have been with haven’t been very satisfying so I stop caring.” I shrug. “I did notice how my work load always increases after you find out about the new guy.” I say looking over at the man who refuses to let me have a relationship. Not that I was really meant to have been with any of those men. I just would never have had a chance with anyone else either. I take another sip.
            “Aw, so you noticed that.” He smiles a big grin. “I only plan to do that with any man not good enough for you.” He smiles at me. “If you haven’t noticed, that is all of them.”
            “Captain, that is unfair. You have to let me have a relationship with someone.” I look at him. I should be more offended but I’m not.
            “Why?...Why do I have to share you?” He looks over at me.
            That is where I knew this would head, the stubborn jerk. Worst part is he is still sober. Only a few sips into his wine. Usually I can just give him more to drink and distract him till he passes out. But not tonight, tonight we really have to talk about all this. Joy. “Because Captain that is selfish. You date, why can’t I?”
            “Sure I date but those women have no place in my heart.” He puts his hand over mine. “I don’t’ force you to share my heart, any more than when we met.” He looks at me. “And I have steadily given more and more of it to you.”

            I pull my hand back and push his off me. “It is inappropriate.” I look at him. I don’t think we have ever had a serious version of this conversation. I look at him with his top open to the air. His coats are sitting in the kitchen on a chair. His hat is somewhere in my kitchen, it got lost in the rush of contact. I love you, Captain, but we function because we don’t act on it.
            “What is it that holds you back? I look into your eyes and I know I see it.” He looks at me.
            “See what Captain?” I don’t think I let anything show. I know I didn’t say that last bit out loud, right?
            “What do you feel for me?” He pulls the wine glass from me and downs the end of it’s contents. He then pulls me into his lap.
            He isn’t letting me get away. What is he asking? He can’t really mean it, can he? “Ca-Captain? I’m unsure as to what you are asking.”

            “Don’t be afraid. It is me, Your Captain.” He smoothes my hair. “I just want to know how much of My Little Nanao’s heart is mine.” He moves to cup my face in his big hands and starts to caress my cheek with his thumb.
            That is an unfair tactic. Too much touching, this is why I hit him for it. “I…I-I don’t know what to say.” I feel my face blushing.
            “How about the truth. What do you feel for me? What do I mean to you? How important am I to you?” He looks deep into my eyes with his grey ones.
            Truth, how can I tell him that? “You are my Captain.” I say to him trying to convey everything I feel into that one word.
His eyes start to show disappointment.
I speak up again “You are the man who hugged me when Lisa was taken. You make me scream and want to cry. You have saved my life more times than I can count. You are my Captain.”
This time he just looks confused but he no longer looks hurt by the word.
“Why should the title you have earned so many times over hurt you?” I pause. “You know me better than anyone else and yet you don’t understand the simplest ways to make me happy.” I smile at him then close my eyes.
“Open them” His voice is firm but not harsh. He lets his other hand not thumbing my cheek trail down my arm.
I do so. “I have looked up to you, since… I joined your squad. I was so happy to join. I was so happy to have such a kind and loveable captain.”
“Was?” He looks hurt.
I shake my head. “I am happy.” I put my hand up to his cheek. “I still say you need to do more of your work….but…” I look down at his chest.
He lifts my chin with the hand that was on my cheek and makes me look back up at his eyes. “But?” He is barely breathing. He keeps holding his breath.
“But I don’t want to go anywhere else. Besides the fact you would die and take the whole division down with you if I ever left…I’d miss you” I am blushing more I feel it in my face and I see him smirk looking at it.
“My Lil Nanao still won’t answer me. How much of her heart is mine?” he is staring at my eyes again.
“You mean more to me than anyone else.” I lean into his neck. Inhale his scent, it is a mix of sake, fruit blossoms and something muskier that is just him.
He wraps his arms around me tight just holding me to him. His heart is pounding. I still feel small in his arms; but I always will since he is almost a foot taller than me. He is so warm. I could stay like this for hours… I could sleep in his arms. I used to. I could again if I wasn’t grown.
He picks me up and moves me to a different side of his lap. I am still sitting sideways on him just the other side. He moved me so my dominate hand is away from his body. “Nanao, do you love me?”

I look up at him. My eyes go wide with shock. He flat out asked. “I’m not telling you.” I shake my head eyes still wide with surprise.
He looks surprised and hurt. “Why Nanao? Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
Softly I answer. “If it is yes,… then you can use it against me….And if it is no,… I would hurt you.” I steady my voice. “So I’m not answering.” I hug him tight.
In a bit of a winey voice he says “That’s not fair Nanao.” He pets my hair and rests his hand on top of my head. With a happy sigh he says “I love you.”
            No joke, no punch line, no copout, he just said it.
            I look up at him in shock “C-Captain?”

            “Why does that surprise you? I only tell you all the time. I love My Lil Nanao.”
            Wait, does he mean romantic love. Damn it Shunsui, this is what I have been avoiding. You got my freaking hopes up and now…now I’m vulnerable. I go to slap.
            He catches my hand with wide shocked eyes. “What! What did I say, or not say, this time!” He is shocked and a bit impatient.
            “You jerk!” I go to slap him with my other hand and he grabs it too.
            With both hands in his still raised above my hand. I am now sitting in his lap, facing him. “No hitting,” he says and sighs, shaking his head. “What did you think I meant? I mean that I love you. In love with you. I have been for years.” He takes a deep breath “Now please tell me what you could have heard that would warrant this” His eyes motion to my hands.
            I pause and exhale a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “I thought…you meant…you love me…like before.” My voice is shaky. So much more than it should be. I relax my arms letting them droop.
            “So that idea angered you because?...” He looks like he is waiting for my response.
            “Because I am in love with you too.” I look him in the eyes, I feel mine start to water, look down and close them. Damn it why must I cry now?
            He lets go of my wrists and holds me tight to his body. He whispers into my hair. “No Nanao you aren’t cold at all. You are trying to burn me alive tonight.” He pulls me back enough to kiss me. His kiss starts out deep and urgent.
Author’s Note:
I knew when they were introduced their relationship had to be complicated. When they introduced Lisa in the flashback arc and younger Nanao was there, well it clicked. I like these two. I figure if you live for hundreds of years you are going to have to look at age and life differently than we do today. I don’t think, even as portrayed, that there is anything wrong with this couple. These two would have a ton of baggage and history before anything could start. Then again I can’t think of any Soul Reaper with out a lot of baggage. Again this all supposed to be post Aizen.
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All Started With a Book