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Rumors	By : RinjiGrey Category: Bleach > General Views: 3295 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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“Just
because I have big boobs they think I'm loose?”

“That,
and you do spend much of your time drinking with men.”

“You
drink with us too and no one thinks you're a whore.”

“Fukutaicho,
I never said anyone thought you were a whore. Furthermore, I am
merely partaking so that I have better chances at learning more
natural behaviours. Alcohol does not make me play Spin The Bottle or
make me feel I need to remove articles of clothing. Father says I am
only allowed to go with you so he can have some 'respite from my
constant and bothersome presence.'”

Silence.

“They
are only rumors, fukutaicho. I'm sure you shouldn't be bothered by
them.”

.oOo.

Hitsugaya
rubbed his temples as his vice-captain finished recounting to him the
ways in which she most certainly was not a loose woman. She
was, as usual, draped on the small couch in his office, her breasts
defying the laws of gravity and threatening to burst free from their
meager confines.

He
hadn't the time to scold her for walking in without knocking, or for
using his office as her personal retreat from the latest drama, or
for not finishing last week's paperwork. She'd started in the moment
she stepped across the threshold.

“...So
Nemu says that Momo mentioned after last weeks Shinigami Women's
Association meeting that she wondered if there was any man in
Serietei that I haven't been with.”

“Ah.”
He scowled at the misspellings on the New Recruits forms. The
Academy was taking anyone these days.

She
didn't seem to be aware of him at all as she kept pleading her case.
“I tried to explain to Nemu that I sewed my wild oats back
during my Academy days, and even then I was quite picky. And half of
those very few men are
dead or married by now.”

“Of
course.”

Her
hand went to brush her hair out of her eyes, then began counting off
names on her fingers, “Shuuhei went and got all tattooed, so
none for him. Kira is too wishy washy and obviously obsessed with
Gi- uh, Ichimaru-taicho...,”

Her
captain raised his hand to silence her before she got too carried
away but she ploughed ahead, sounding more agitated with each name
she said.

“Don't
even get me started on Ichimaru-taicho. He had plenty of chances,
but never took them,” her voice quieted for a moment before she
continued, “Then there's Abarai, but he just isn't my type.
Tattoos, you know,” she nodded at the white haired shinigami
absently as if he was engrossed in her babbling and not attempting to
ignore her.

“I
always knew there was something fishy about Azien-tai- you know. So,
no go there. Ikkaku is too bald, Yumichika is too pretty,
Ukitake-taicho is too sick, Shunsui-taicho is too perverted, nobody
mentioned you, they must know I have at least some standards, and
Kenpachi-taicho is too...well, he's Kenpachi-taicho,” she
paused, making sure she hadn't missed anyone. “Those are the
only people I associate with, aside from the Quincy and Sado-san,
neither of which interest me in the slightest. I'm no pedophile,
Taicho. Besides, I try not to mix work and play and that's yet
another reason why I cannot be thought of as a harlot. All in all, I
think I have been pretty well behaved, don't you?”

Hitsugaya
found himself nodding in agreement with her. He mentally slapped
himself. Now she'd seen him respond and would keep going because she
thought she had his attention. Which she did, dammit. The annoyance
at her comment about him was short lived. He constantly thanked the
gods that he was not burdened with her as a lover, he could hardly
handle her as a vice-captain.

“And
get this; Nemu says that Nanao heard Abarai telling Ikkaku that Rukia
somehow found out about Kurosaki and me! Can you believe? As if we
don't all know how she found out. Guess those humans can't keep
their mouths shut about anything...”

Ice
green eyes blinked at her. He was utterly at a loss for words. He
had no idea what she'd just said and refused to ask her to repeat
herself. But he had caught something about her and that irritating
substitute shinigami...

She
continued, cutting off his train of thought with her louder-than-life
rambling, “I mean, it was a one time thing and I didn't think
he'd blab to Rukia about it. I thought they had a thing, ya know?
Guess not,” she chuckled.

“Matsumoto-”

“THEN
I find out, from Nemu of course, that I've been rated best piece of
ass in the whole Gotei 13! And she says I should be flattered, but
nobody would actually know this because I haven't been with any of
them, so they are lying to each other because they think it's macho
or something!!” She was sitting up now and waving her hands
about.

“Please,
Matsumoto-”

But
she was beyond enraged at this point. She stood, gripping her
zanpaktou, and began pacing in front of his desk, a sign that her
rant was coming to a close. He closed his eyes briefly in thanks.

“I
should go kick each and every one of their asses. How dare they try
and one-up each other at my expense?! I'm a lady and respectable
vice-captain!”

He
watched her pace but waited for her to catch her breath. He could
see her working this out in her mind, as she always did. A few
moments more of slowed pacing and he saw her breathing return to
normal and the unpleasant scowl fade from her face.

“Well,
look at it this way: they don't know about your crush on
Kuchiki-taicho, so you should count your blessings. And drink less.
You tell your secrets when you are drunk.” He cleared his
throat and resumed filling out last week's paperwork.

She
stared at him, finally silent.

He
lowered his head further and grinned.

“So,
Taicho, thanks for the talk, it really helped. I, um, think I have
some paperwork to catch up on, so please only call me if you really
need me, okay?” She blustered as she tripped out the door,
muttering something about swearing off alcohol and sex forever.
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