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October 26, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Very funny! You achieved a comic dynamic between these two quite well.
I like how Grimmjow took charge of the situation; the lackadaisical response certainly triggered his ire!
One small suggestion: instead of "9inch", you might consider writing out "nine inch". Numeric symbols distract me from your prose and draw me out of your story.
Thank you for sharing this! I found it a most amusing PWP.
I like how Grimmjow took charge of the situation; the lackadaisical response certainly triggered his ire!
One small suggestion: instead of "9inch", you might consider writing out "nine inch". Numeric symbols distract me from your prose and draw me out of your story.
Thank you for sharing this! I found it a most amusing PWP.