rate_review Reviews

come come! Update further my dearest!
Pretty please with a cherry on top... *pouts*
Dit verhaaltje od Stalkerloverrrrr, pweaseeeeee

You made it longer! Yay!

The idea seems interesting, but you should work on it more. There are many mistakes which are easy to avoid, you just have to spend some time on checking it. I wonder if you at least read it before posting. If not, you should.

Yay! nu nog een awesome verhaaltje! Maar niet Stalker lover verwaarlozen, neh? want dies ook awesome
Ik denk dat ik ut nog un x ga rereaden XP
Update soon! ~Yaoi is in the air~

(PS) But mannn, ben jij psychic ofzo? Ik heb in mijn verhaaltje ook al Ichigo's hele familie uitgemoord!
Wat kan ik zeggen; Genius minds think the same, neh? XP
~Yaoi is in the air~ <3

It seemed a little too hurried for my tastes. That fact that it is an AU came as a surprise though. I suggest slowing down a bit in the next chapter and explain things better with more detail if possible. Why did you change Shuuhei's number to 96? And I can tell you are using single quotes instead of double quotes by how they look. You also need to work on your spelling.

Overall, I thought the story has potential but it needs work. Ah, don't look at this review in a bad way. I'm just pointing things out that you may want to take into consideration. I like the idea of Ichigo as a slave so I really do want to read more.