rate_review Reviews

OoOoOoOoOo!! ^^ What's gonna happen!?! :0 WRITE MORE SOON PLEASE!! ^^

it would be funny if the king was hichigo you know the hollow ichigo because it would be a reverse of there positions.

more please.

I loved now Ichigo was kissed with out warning. I wonder who is the man that wants Ichigo? I canx't wait for another chapter.

I have time today so I decided to make a list of your mistakes (not all of them):
notist - noticed
an headach - a headache
greeded - greeted
reanji - Renji
finaly - finally
‘’Baka, ya wanna spit ya own head or wa? Damn and here I thought the ol’ man had a good taste...damn idiot tryin’ to play ‘crack tha freaking melon’ - can somebody explain to me the meaning of this sentence?
Ofcourse - of course
sences - senses
stomac - stomach
emtyed - I assume you meant "emptied"
and he fell the his knies - and he fell to his knees
atleast - at least
ichigo’s - Ichigo's
struggeling - struggling
mans - man's
wich - which
Befor - Before
Atleast - At least

My conclusion: you don't give a damn. You don't give a damn how this fanfic is written. Because I can understand many things. I can understand that some can have problems with spelling, but many of these mistakes you could correct just reading this fic to yourself. Not to mention there is a spellcheck in Firefox. If you don't use Firefox, maybe you should, because your spelling is hopeless. There are also other mistakes: commas hardly ever appear, some sentences don't start with a capital letter, and in some places there's no space. You have good idea for a plot, this fanfic could be really good, if you put more effort into it. It'm not flaming you. I want to help you. I hope you will think about what I wrote.

Rawrrrrrrr!! Can't wait for the new clothes! Rawrrr, Rawrr, RAWRRR!! Zeer kinky leuk hoofdstukje! Ik hoop echt dat je weer snel update, want GAWD; ik vin dit verhaaltje zo cewlll! En ik ben zo curious naar Ichigo's new 'master' *wiggles eyebrows*
Please update soon!

Aizen? ^^ I'm takin' a wild guess actually

Haha! LET US SEE SMUT! or not or atleast sexual tension? lol Who's the king? WHO OWNS ICHIGO! haha post new chappie soon! XD

I must say, the first chapter wasn't particularly good, but it does just seem to be getting worse. There are spelling errors and all sorts of terrible mistakes - plus the formatting is terrible. I'm sure if you cleaned this up, it would be alot better. Try getting a beta, perhaps?

--R.A.Z.B

This would be an excellent story with wonderful description and plot.

Just one thing: Please work on your formatting. Maybe a Beta could help you?

Good luck!