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Reviews for The War Within

By : Raymy
  • From FicticiousDelicious on February 07, 2013
    Oh boy oh boy! Another fic!

    Mislead the Fools, Conceive the Plan
    Mayuri is absolutely an eccentric man...thing...shinigami, it strikes me maybe he's vain too... (considering his 'pristine' appearance)
    Aawww, poor sickly Ukitake. Yamamoto rapping his cane, a good show of his authority. Again I will say this hollow shrinkage idea is ORIGINAL AND FUNNY AS HECK! Hee Hee! Nerd fantasy *snicker snicker* These out-bursts from outgoing captains are quite funny to read after the proposal. It makes sense that some would roll their eyes in regard to sapping hollows down to small sizes. So Kyoraku and Ukitake are peace-makers, huh? Or open minds.
    Considering how many captains had their say on the 'shrink-a-hollow' matter and weren't intimidated by or respectful of Mayuri enough to hear him out first; who thinks he's a quack and who doesn't? Levels of respect vary... Since a few voices came to defend Mayuri's theory at least we know that he isn't hated all around, but you don't have to hate someone to foster the idea that they're quack. I'm all for shirking hollows and putting them in cereal boxes by the way!
    It will be an Espada they capture, eh? Hee Hee Seems like that would be a dangerous catch to reel in. I think I'll stuff the Espada in my favourite cereal box...even though I don't eat cereal much anymore... *sniffle* Ah well, I'm sure the oat-meal canister will work just fine. I think my idea is a little more kind-hearted than a 'hollow injection'. Mayuri does not like Soi-Feng does he?
    Mayuri's use for Nemu almost instantaneously disconnects ANY lingering suspicions about his science-fair project being humane. If he's disconnected from his own creation that is a b-a-d sign. Big flashing sign! I wish upon his manhood her sharp teeth, by accident of course.
    I'm not entirely sure why but the term 'penis' is refreshing. Perhaps that's my quirk, overuse of 'cock' makes any term but 'pecker' sound more attractive.
    You bring to our attention that Nemu has needs of her own amidst her servicing. It's rather painful to swallow that she doesn't realize Mayuri is morally bent while treating her like machinery. Do what I tell you to do when I tell you to do it because it's your function. If my scanner had an opinion for every picture I set down on it I'm sure it could write me an epic but a scanner has no soul. Nemu has a soul and if not that something like it. She has emotions she doesn't understand and bodily needs to-boot. She's every inch (in my opinion) an intricate being deserving of respect.
    Mayuri thinks like I do...the taste of those words is sour. He sounds like a "want it done right? do it yourself" person. Depending on the situation that theory can fail. I think he's a melancholic type mixed minus the depression with a little of choleric's need to be a leader.
    "if the host is unaware"... that sounds like 'hurry! spike his drink while he's not looking!' I feel pity for his chosen host. And the magic ingredient is...! not love this time...HOLLOWS!
    Remove "it" all together. Alright. If he does that he should let Nemu be the one to cut "it" off. Hee Hee. Is Mayuri going to be capable of understanding love?

    This chapter was very clear and very nicely written, it provokes some hard-core philosophical thoughts. You have my interest. Nice work! (I'll be reviewing the 2nd chapter sometime in the near future)
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  • From wolfkin59 on February 05, 2013
    I didn't realize you'd started posting this! *growl* And now I'm going to be gone for 2-3 months....
    I've said it before, but I really like where you're taking this. It's wonderfully dark and definitely entertaining, and I absolutely want to read more. *sigh* When I have time. That's going to be the part that kicks me from behind.
    Glad my thread on the forum helped you with Kurotsuchi.
    Anyway, I'll PM you my number and you can text me or something if you want help, too.
    May the words just flow,
    Cuzosu
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  • From amazonblues on February 02, 2013
    I'm excited by the premise and will be keeping my eye on this fic. I hope you have lots of fun writing it :)
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