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Reviews for Submissive Panther, Sadistic Coyote

By : Killermuffins
  • From Benihime1231 on January 27, 2013
    Must say... I like it :-)
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  • From FicticiousDelicious on January 10, 2013
    You had me at the description, "Aizen has had enough of Grimmjow's mouth and Starrk's laziness..." after that I needed to see what the rest of the story was like. That was the perfect way to phrase the description, you captivated my attention!

    Grimmjow running his mouth during a gathering of the Espada (a meeting I'd guess)...yea, sounds about right. Using the feral aspect of his "panther" release form as justification for his aggressiveness is very believable. I'm glad to see you've included that.
    It would seem that Aizen isn't the only one who's had enough of Grimmjow's blunt mouth; the other Espada seem a bit over his b*tching too. Then they drag in Starrk... Starrk's constant sleepiness and laid back temperament is a great aspect of him to play up on. *snickers* Grimmjow is grumpy, Starrk is sleepy, and me thinks Aizen's kettle is about to boil over. "Snap!" says you. "Yay!" says I. Go figure someone else's ire is my pleasure but eh. We call that damn good comedy! So pop goes Aizen's patience! *dies of laughter* As a little side note: Aizen having to chase Ulquiorra off only more-so proves the Cuatro's "dogish" loyalty, that's some good reinforcement. I'm a little surprised that Aizen wouldn't use such a loyal subordinate to help carry out Grimmjow's punishment.
    It's amusing that Grimmjow is still defiant after he's been bound, resisting [probably] isn't going to set him free but only your readers know that. Starrk being so devilish strikes me as a surprise, he's very harsh for such a lazy character in this story. It's not a bad type of surprise I suppose, but it is different than most fics with Starrk. Adding in Szayel as the creator of the "special" bondage gear was a nice touch too. I can only imagine the horror reeling through Grimmjow's head when he takes a glance around the room and sees all of the things on the walls. "Stark-ass-naked", that's an interesting combination of words. It's funny though.
    The part where Grimmjow's pride openly comes into play is essential. Describing the marring of his pride as he's being punished (which is the strongest tool Starrk could use to break him) is very tedious and very important because it's the deciding factor.
    The steps I noticed until Grimmjow's breaking point: First he's blushing, embarrassment. Then he's smitten with an erection and unable to help it, shame. Next he's non-responsive to Starrk in a manner he can still control (refuses to speak), denial. Now Starrk starts to play with his toys, humiliation and enticement. And at that point Grimmjow cracks despite his continuing denial (it would seem a kind of confusion has got the better of him). The end goal was subjugation, which the story took it's time getting to (that just made it all the more delicious to read).
    By the end of this whole ordeal...despite Starrk's efforts and Grimmjow's so-so enjoyment of his punishment Grimmjow doesn't seem like he's giving up his defiant nature just yet. Could be a very bad thing for Starrk and Aizen, but it certainly amused me! (sequel material right there! "Grimmjow's Vengeance"! dun dun dun!)
    *laughs* it's always the quiet ones! bahaha! Ulquiorra, you kinky devil! That's funny!

    Wow, this was definitely an enjoyable read. A few points I thought I should mention: (just food for thought)
    *During the "punishment" process I wanted to know more of what Grimmjow and Starrk were thinking.
    *Starrk's personality was interesting but his transition from lazy to devious left me feeling a little bewildered (that could be good or bad).
    *If an emotion like pride, anger, fear, lust, etc. (strong emotions) make sure to mention that emotion while it's being eroded or built up.
    *Triple-check (or check as many times as you need to) for spelling errors so they don't interrupt the flow of the story.
    *Your word choice throughout makes this story very gritty, it has plenty of zest. Me likie.

    By the way, I read your A/N after I mentioned that the ending was sequel material...you frickin' read my mind! Write a sequel! I encourage you!
    I only had an out-of-character feeling about Starrk, but there aren't any rules saying you have to follow Bleach cannon.
    3: Master and Slave roles can only be so exciting. You tried using something different which is excellent.
    4: Bahaha! My spell-check decides to pull as sneaky like those every once and a while.

    For a first time yaoi fic this is very good. Delicious story and delicious concepts. Sorry for such a long review, I figure if I'm going to leave one at all I better make it worth your while. Keep on writing! It just gets better from here on out!
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