Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

Reviews for The Real King

By : NovaAlexandria

From tonyamarie on January 24, 2013
I am so happy to read your updates. This is the first time that I have got a chance to read since october and was not dissapointed in it one bit. so many good things to say that I cant remember them. :)
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From Roronoa_93 on January 11, 2013
You've got me addicted to your stories!! I can't wait for more!!
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From NAnderson on January 08, 2013
Even with all the blood and killing in this latest chapter, I must say that was a beautiful chapter. All of the details were sot on. I as a tad blindsided by the sudden lovebirds, but somehow it works. AMAZING job, as always ;)
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From ANON - kasumi on January 05, 2013
Hi! After ...I don't know...5 days I finally caught up with this FF. I have to tell you, it's great! You did some research for animal's behaviour in packs, didn't you? :) It seems all so natural and it's sooo complex. And I like how you keep everyone nice in character (that's really not something you find often in fanfictions). Even though I was surprised how well did everyone take the fact that Ichigo was sleeping with an arrancar (a male one at that) and what I noticed the most was, that every friend/collegue/familly member was immediately accustomed to listening to him talking about packs, hierarchy and such. Since that is not something you (as a human or shinigami) hear families to call themselves...

I wanted to complain at first, 'coz there was this part, when Ichigo commented on Rukia's promotion with something like -Byakuya finally let you...- and I was like "what does HE have to do with it? She doesn't even belong to his division. She's in Ukitake's.." but then it was cleared and I was left with nothing to complain ;) (Not that complaining is something I like to do. It's just that that little bit stood out a lot)

But (and I'm sorry for that) I have to point out some (grammatical/spelling) errors:
- "mettle" is spelled "metal" as I believe, you mean something steel, iron, aluminum, etc. (e.g. "metal rod","metal cage")
- with "tuff" if you want to say "something is going to be hard", "someone with strong character/personality", "a problem is hard to solve"... it's spelled "tough" (e.g. "it's gonna be tough to break through")
- and sometimes you don't use the correct form of verbs in some phrases. When you want to say "someone has adapted to something" it's "someone is used to something" or "someone is accustomed to something" - "someone got used to something" or "I'm adapting to.." - "I'm getting used to.." and so on... The verb "use" is used in past form :)

I have the impression you don't have a beta...so it's still not that bad ;) And I'm sorry, if I didn't get right some of the words you wanted to actually use and I misinterpreted them, or if you have some sort of automatic correction on and it's not your fault ('coz "mettle" IS an existing word. It just means something different (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mettle))

In the end, all I want to say is that you crated an interesting story with intriguing plot and I'm looking forward for the next chapter.
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From ANON - Athrun434 on January 04, 2013
yay they rescued him. soo happy. cant wait to find out what happens to kurosuchi. this story kepts getting better and better
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From Raymy on December 21, 2012
Chap 47: Now that I've got a peek into what's happening with Szayel and the cubs, I'm not as squirmy anymore. I think that the youngest female may recover without any scarring memories, because of her age, as long as nothing invasive is done to her and she continues to get the contact from her sister and Szayel. Hijastro will probably remember this event but will gain strength from it, perhaps resolving to become a protector like Ichigo. She, too, will survive mentally if she isn't subjected to torture of either herself or watching it inflicted upon her "mapa". I'm so proud of Szayel, putting his parental concerns ahead of his own self-preservation instinct (and his indignation about Kurotsuchi's intelligence). Of course, protecting the cubs is also instinct and he's shown it before when he almost died protecting Cacharro in Hueco Mundo. He is demonstrating his superiority in his restraint and calm, while he gathers information to evaluate his position, expressing his natural proclivity for the scientific method.

Now, I'm scrambling my brains to think who will discover them as your A/N hints that it may not be Ichi/Grimm, but I don't want to guess in case it isn't true. I must say that, sometimes I'm right on about what I expect you'll do, but mostly I'm bewildered, seeing multiple paths and not knowing which you'll choose, if any. As you may have noticed, I like to try to figure things out before the reveal and find that amazingly easy to do with most TV and movie plots because they are so formulaic. However, your stories are not so formulaic and for that, I'm grateful. Keeps my mind very busy.
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From ANON - Athrun434 on December 18, 2012
i hope they find him soon. cant wait for the next episode
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From ANON - missanna on December 18, 2012
I'm not sure if I have reviewed before. But let me say it now "I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!" Just to let you know i love it love it. I can't wait for more. That bastard Mayuri -_- I knew it was him. I can just imagine his freaky smiling face *hugs* the cubs and their Mapa (love that by the way)
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From Raymy on December 11, 2012
Chap 45 & 46: This was unexpected. Not the kidnapping, I figured you were going to shake things up, but the extra chapter! I didn't think I'd see another after Ch. 45 until post Xmas, so I still thought I had time to review it. I'm glad to see it though, I didn't want to be left so long with a teaser for the new plot line. Chapter 46 helped fuel my interest and get my mouth watering for more action.

Is it going to be a long search, or resolved quickly and then onto another storyline? I'm hoping it doesn't go too long because it makes me squirm to think of the cubs being held for too long from their parents, even if Hijastro is with one of hers. Szayel, as long as he's not tortured like what H'tsu did to him (or Aizen in PoV), can handle a lot of grief, and so I'm not too worried about him. He's surprisingly resilient and even though (or because of) his struggle to regain some of his former stature as a powerful Arrancar (post H'tsu) made him appear weak, he has shown inner strength and growth that endears him to me. It would be wonderful to see him outsmart and outmanoeuvre his captor(s). It's kind of trite to think that Ichigo and Grimmjow are their only hope, but to see the pride and admiration they would have for Szayel if he were to "save the day", would be so much better for his own development.

I'm impressed that the enraged duo didn't do more damage than Ichigo's Reiatsu knocking out a few shinigami. Being that I'm more the logical type, I could relate to their actions of gathering info and going through appropriate channels. I'm sure I'll get to indulge my repressed bloodlust when they punish the discovered culprits. That would give the story an opportunity to shift to a new direction, if it turns out that Kurotsuchi was able to deceive his peers and conceal his true involvement. Would Soul Society look the other way if justice was at the hands of an Arrancar and Substitute Shinigami?
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From NAnderson on December 11, 2012
Yet another amazingly written, and completely teasing, chapter! I need to know who took the cubs now. It's driving me crazy!
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From ANON - Athrun434 on November 28, 2012
just getting interesting. cant wait for next chapter. it writen really well.
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From NAnderson on November 27, 2012
Ohh this latest chapter is so evil >,< I NEED to know what happens next dammit! I need to see Grimmjow going on a rampage in soul society lol.
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From Raymy on November 21, 2012
Chap 44: No objections to sex, anytime, anywhere! And Xmas is the time for giving and receiving so its appropriate, no? I'd like to see a lot of gifts given, if possible? *briskly rubs palms together*

That's so funny that H'tsu is the food supply for the new cub. I wonder if he were to manifest, would he have Beta qualities? Teach him a lesson, it would. Plus, maybe he'd actually learn something. I'm glad you set it up where Shun could come back, however, the conversation between him and Isshin is a little ominous. Hope its not foreshadowing. Scary thought that the story might go dark. It's had its moments, but lately its been pretty light. I like the image of Ichigo working with his dad. It gives him the freedom to attend to his family, if necessary, with a boss who understands. I am very glad Ichigo got to top Grimm, again; that really is the most natural position for these two in this story. Grimmy got his taste of the opposite scenario and realizes he likes the original one. It's sometimes useful to experience the grass on the other side, to recognize that your grass is pretty darn good.

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From ANON - Rangikun on November 17, 2012
Wow... I seriously love it and very much impressed that despite the changes in role, you still kept Ichigo's character intact. Yes, I do agree with you that looking at Ichigo's character as a whole, is indeed likely to offer himself to carry the cubs. Furthermore,, I am really glad that he was not turned into a hormonal female like most fics featuring mpreg does. Ichigo is still the pack Alpha and he is still in control. I am really amused by Grimjow trying to act nonchalant about the Instinct thing.. XD

I'm really glad to see that you are firm on the storyline, characters and the way you portray them. Don't let the negative reviews get to you for you will always have faithful fans like me that loves your story. I am following your story till the end, the only worry that I have will be that you stopped writing. That will indeed be a loss for fans of good fanfictions like us.

Looking forward to your next chapter! Give a kiss to your son for us. =D
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From NAnderson on November 17, 2012
I don't often review this amazing story and I think its time to now. I have loved every chapter of this story. Including the ones that had me on edge. And I have no idea why people are getting upset over the things in the last few chapters. Knowing Ichigo, and his love of self sacrifice and doing what is right even if he hurts himself, would be doing these things since they helped everyone overall. The long time skip did take me by surprise, but after reading it all the way threw it did fit and I didn't feel cheated. Which I tend to feel after a time skip in a story I feel invested in. Overall you're doing a great job in my opinion :) And I'm still looking forward to more
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