Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

Reviews for Prize of Victory

By : NovaAlexandria

From JOler on February 27, 2012
Oh, sorry, two more pet peeves ...
1. Two-dimentional cardboard cut-out characters with no personality development.
2. Super predictable plots that are so often used and so obvious that you can just take out the canon characters from fandom A and stick in the characters from fandom B and call it a 'new' fic. It is especially bad when this is done from one fandom to another over and over again or even done in crossover fashion.
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From JOler on February 27, 2012
Cute baby. I'm surprised Ulquiorra was so calm. Hopefully Nnoitra finds out the 'one little reason' Rangeku doesn't want a baby ... and does his best to correct the issue ... even if it means going to his/their room and pouting/berating himself mentally for ... screwing up and scaring her away from wanting a baby again... Of course if he opened up and admitted how much it would mean to him ... and that he really has fallen in love with Rangeku ... it might make a little bit of a difference. (honestly can't wait for him to finally have the guts to ask her to be his mate ... and see how nervous he is about the thought that she might reject him ... or (not that I want either of them in peril) if one of them is dangerously close to being fatally wounded during a battle ... just to drive home the thought that they might actually face losing the other. (wonder how Nnoitra would be if Rangeku was on 'life-support' in squad 4 for a few days because Orahime only has so much energy and is doing well to keep her alive ... would that be enough to make him change? Or if Nnoitra was brought in unconscious to the 4th ~ same situation with Orahime ~ and during a brief period of consciousness Nnoitra admits that he loves her and his one regret is that she never loved him enough to want his child ... then he passes out again with Orahime doing her best to keep him alive ... he remains unconscious and in critical condition for several days ... would she give in?)

Hmmm Pet Peeves ... too many to list but will try to hit the most annoying ones ...
1. Occasional use of a nickname is ok but when the nickname is used more than 10% to 20% of the time it gets annoying (unless it has been noted that a particular speaker makes it a point to call the other person that as a rule for whatever reason ~ but it is only to be used in dialogue spoken by that character or attributed to that character.)
2. I love a well written lemon as much as the next person but ... it shouldn't be longer than half of the chapter (need some room for plot development and progression) and the smexxing shouldn't be the entire basis of a one-shot ... even a PWP needs a little character interaction before getting hot and heavy where ever the participants are.
3. Spelling, homonyms, and misused though very similar words. Spellcheck is great but it can only do so much ... please consult a dictionary or thesaurus to be sure you are saying what you intend to say people.
4. Mary Sue's (male and female versions) where the canon character can't possibly find anyone of interest in the entire canon line-up but the most perfect and flawless being in existence happens to glide into their life and knock them stupid with just a glance or a smile. It's especially bad if the author uses their own name/pseudonym for the OC in question.
5. Stories that only get half finished for any reason short of death, coma/paralysis, or computer issues ...
6. Seriously OOC characters ... without a good reason for them being OOC ... Same goes for the setting (especially poorly contrived AU settings).

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From ANON - Saka_Sandora on February 27, 2012
I agree with the blueberry or strawberry or just berry/berry head/ you smell like strawberries/blueberries, or any other type of berry. Its silly. If the story is good I will read it but I also turn off stories that are boring.
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From ANON - Tokolosh� on February 27, 2012
Love Ulquiorra � even Kami was amused at how this effected Ulquiorra. The baby is just tooooo precious. If they only knew where Ajuga is going off to once a week. Hope Kami did not spot anything out of place because of Ajuga and that is why he punished Gin.

Pet Peeve � well at the moment (just because it happened this week but I did experience it before) someone who draws you into a story just to decide about 8 chapters later to discontinue the story or that they want to start from scratch again. These people need to think that their story is already out there in the public domain and most likely has a following and they are wasting the reader�s time by not finishing the product. I am not talking here about mild editing as I think that is always a good thing to go back and fix grammar mistakes and spelling. I don�t mind stories that take time to finish or even are placed on hiatus until the person can finish them � as long as it gets done. The best stories I have read so far is the product of years in the making. I personally think that it is due to bad planning from the author not having a basic outline of where they want to go with the plot. I am all for writing on the whim, but you should still have a plan in place to avoid � �I am stuck so now I start from scratch or just leave it all together�. I think I am disappointed because it was a story I enjoyed and would have loved to see it being finished.

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From bleachfan7 on February 27, 2012
effects of pregnancy hormones may suck to be at the mercy of, but for those of us just observing from afar, their effects on mama's behavior can be extremely entertaining! hope things continue w/o complications till labor & beyond.

loved chapter. ulqui's hand issues had me rolling. i was a bit surprised he didn't overtly freak out even a bit during labor, but maybe we'll get him losing his cool later. & him feeling happiness & recognizing seemed such an enormous step in his emotional development. hope someone does artwork of new baby once you reveal eye color. can't wait for next chap.

as for ff pet peeves, i get annoyed when rape scenes are referred to as 'lemons'. if you frame your one-shot as citrus/lemon/smut-fest or whatever descriptors are typical, i'm expecting a love-scene. i'm not including the dubious consent types where its no but w/o too much conviction that turns into a yes during foreplay, but full-on typically violent rape scenes where bizarre reviewers say it was really hot or sexy... my biggest ff pet peeve though, honestly, is having ichiruki shoved down my throat regardless of what type of fic/pairing i've actually signed up for unless it is an explicit yaoi ichigo fic or yuri rukia fic. i've come across them reading hitsukarin, byaren, matsuhitsu, shunanao, matsu&someone else i can't recall, & of course ulquihime, ishihime, renhime, etc... i get its an enormously popular pairing, but when i want to read them, i'll head over to their section. some fics like this one are ginormous & span the cast, but even here, its clearly 2 main pairings w/the others a secondary thing. big scale, multi-storyline fics usually are clear up front of their large scope. but if a story is set up for 1 or 2 pairings, i really don't want to read about others besides what i signed up for beyond brief mention here & there. putting away the soap box.
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From ANON - Rachael on February 27, 2012
AH! Another wonderful chapter!

As for the question; I can't read a story with multiple spelling errors. I can't read a story that has overly used slang words like pussy, cock and other things like that. I enjoy romance and those words are not romantic and its a severe turn off. I also cant read stories primarily involving the main character.

You are my absolute favorite writer. Years ago I read Midsummers Eve and only recently did I put two and two together to realize that I have read, favorited and cherished multiple works of yours. :) Thank you for updating and congratulations on the pregnancy!

-Rachael
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From ANON - rubyblade on February 23, 2012
Good update! I'm looking forward to baby Ulquhime. :-) And I liked how you handled the 'fight' over the name. Poor communication causes so much friction, I hope they can clear the air about why Grimjow hates Ichigo. I've always felt his sisters idolized him, and he loves them dearly. That's probably enough from the cheap seats! Can't wait for more updates.
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From ANON - Aviary on February 23, 2012
I've finally caught up some 80 chapters later! I love your story. This is my first to
reviewing but I have been a loyal fan. I love who you've paired with whom. I also like how you've throw. A bit of Toshiro and everyone else back in. I've always been a fan of Soi Fon, maybe finding out if The second decides to listen to Ulquirria or not of he wants his own child, like he wants Ajuga. Poor Syzel and Gin! I wonder if he'll have Nemu have her hair down. Keep up the great work! I hope you and your baby are doing well!
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From ANON - bright on February 21, 2012
Just wanted to thank you for putting this work out. I really enjoy reading it, and I hope your pregnancy goes well. I really enjoyed the toshiro chapter.
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From ANON - Joyleaf on February 21, 2012
Oh I love this! I can't wait for the next chapter! Loves! :D
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From bleachfan7 on February 18, 2012
hope nothing too terrible is coming toward toshiro's pipeline. the reconciliation was sweet--better than a normal relationship since you've written in this dual link allowing them to feel each other's uncertainty, fear, etc. very enthused to read how batbaby comes into the world & absolutely can't wait to see ulqui in nesting mode. if he shows the slightest hint of public mushiness (his occasional private sweetness towards ori is established) my head will explode in shocked happiness.

hope morning/anytime sickness settle soon.
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From ANON - Black Storm Van Pendragon on February 18, 2012
Ah, this brought an huge but soft amused smile on my face...and possibly wider even, at a mental image supplied from the A/N at the bottom XD

Oh? *childish pout at not having to be able to hug you* How along are you now? *generally sucks at keeping track of time*
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From JOler on February 17, 2012
So glad Karin got to work her 'mad' off ... Thing the fight was therapeutic for both of them. Hope all goes well for Toshiro after being summoned away so mysteriously. Love Grimmjow's admission that he forgot Karin wasn't like him and didn't know (and the fact that Starrk had pulled him aside like either a daddy or knowledgable big brother and explained the 'emotional hollow vs human facts of life' to him.

Hmmm ... lol ... So if Ajuga manages to visit Gin while he's doing spring cleaning and he's in the throne room while Aisen is occupied with Unohanna and elsewhere ... and she 'rests' on the throne and jokes to Gin that it makes her feel like a princess because she's there ... and that if she were the princess then she'd have two princes because Szayel and him would both be hers ... Would that be enough for her to wrest the royal title from Aisen without him knowing it? Of course none of them would know anything immediately beyond possibly a temporary disorientation due to the sudden shift in power ... well Karin would notice Aisen's power dim and several others, including hers, suddenly get brighter. While Aisen might just assume he put more into his attempt at producing an heir than he normally did.

Of course Ajuga would leave the palace to keep Gin safe if Aisen headed their way ... but would her declaration of Gin and Szayel being her chosen ones be enough to elevate them both above Aisen without anyone knowing it? Daddy Grimmjow would be clueless while mama Karin would know something just happened but not know what ... Gin and Szayel would be totally clueless if they were affected at all ... and Aisen wouldn't be any wiser about his change in status ...

Just giving that possible scenario as a way of saying ... Does it just take one of royal blood just sitting on the throne or does it have to officially be claimed? Same with the consort ... is she limited to one official mate or if she strongly loves two or three potential males as mate-level status but doesn't 'claim' them as such ... would that at least move them up to noble status if not royalty? (we know Aisen would be SOL if just her resting her rear on the throne was enough ...)
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From ANON - rubyxblade on February 17, 2012
Its always the man's fault. Even if its the woman's, she should endeavor to be smart enough to pin it to a man. LOL Great update, can't wait for more!
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From bleachfan7 on February 12, 2012
glad grim is in the know. love that ajuga is so astute despite her youth. find it funny starkk has to get involved--ajuga has all the men wrapped around her adorable finger (guess hana does too).
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