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Reviews for Untitled

By : KuroShinigami
  • From SFPANTHER on November 18, 2007
    Hello,

    I am enjoying this story but I find it somewhat hard to read. As a fellow author I have a few suggestions.

    1) Your paragraphs are bunched together, making them much harder to read. The story would be easier to read, if you spaced them correctly.

    2) Your sentences are bunched together, making it hard to figure out who is talking and when. If they are spaced between who is talking, it would make it easier to read.

    3) I noticed a few errors with capitalization. Not too many major.

    4) I think you would do great with a beta reader and if you want, I could do that for you. I could space the paragraphs and correct the sentences if you like.

    You have great writing skills, they just need to be polished up a bit. If you want me to beta for you, my email where I can be reached is Wolfiekrum@gmail.com.

    Hope to hear from you soon. If you choose not to, I won't be upset.
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