Adult-FanFiction.org : Bleach

Reviews for Black-and-Red Conflict

By : ghostraven

From shadowsonata on May 24, 2008
*Stomps foot in fustration* I have been thinking about this fic and thinking about this fic and then you go and end this chapter like that! *Laughs* Evil! Now I am going to wonder what happened to Renji until your next update. God! *Chuckles* Good job, by the way.
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From marquesgue1 on May 22, 2008
O_O everything's going to be okay right? 0_0 where is Renji? Why can't Byakuya feel him? YOU IDIOT!!! WHY COULDN'T YOU DO THINGS RIGHT!!! *kicks Byakuya*...

*feels guilty* :( aw man they tried to make a go of it but Byakuya just couldn't let go of his own insecurities, I was actually cheering Renji on because he had every right to feel the way he did and he shouldn't stand for taking crap from someone who's meant to be in an equal relationship with him. *sigh* the attack though had just been them being at the wrong place and at the wrong time :( i hope everything turns out all right >.< no no Renji will be okay and Byakuya will LEARN something from this �_� or i'll kick his ass seriously -_-

okay >.< thanks for this! hope to see the next part soon :)
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From ANON - Anon on April 24, 2008
Wow this story is really interesting. I'm curious to see how the plot develops and how their relationship progresses (or digresses). Keep writing, I'm anxious to read more!
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From Chiyo on April 20, 2008
Oh! Another update so soon!

I read the other chapter pretty soon after it was posted and have been deliberating about exactly what I wanted to say about it, and before I know it, a new chapter! Not that I'm complaining, of course. ^_^

Anyhow, onto reviewing. I'll start with what I was intending to say last time. I was happy when I started reading, because I really like the chapters with Jyuushiro and Shunsui. Aside from the fact that I adore them as two of my favourite characters, this from-the-outside looks at the relationship really do advance the story well. I think I said that last time, but I have to say, the chapters are great. I really love all the little things Shunsui does for his lieutenant too, despite his relationship with Jyuu. Just as you did with Renji and Byakuya, you’ve added depth to these two. You give the characters more… more character I suppose, than they get in the anime/manga, by adding these little quirks to them, and giving more development to their interactions.

I was really glad for them being there towards the end of the chapter also, because Renji needs somebody from the outside to explain things to him. I love that he’s such a hothead, that he’s so passionate and full of feeling, but it’s his weakness as well as his strength, because there’s no way he could interpret and understand things like Jyuu does. Jyuu’s tentative perseverance in that scene was wonderful, and I loved the way you wrote it. It was so… true.

“She'll think I'm crazy...” he repeated in a whisper, directing it more at himself than at Ukitake.

“Maybe,” the captain admitted and smiled softly, “but do you think something that trivial would make her turn away from you?”

The above part was my favourite bit of the chapter. I liked that Jyuu’s gambled attempt at consolation was actually spot on, and the way you worded that little section was brilliant. I can’t really explain my reasons, but it really struck a chord with me. I found it really effective and beautiful. It had the necessary effect on my beloved redhead too!

Forward to confession, I absolutely loved this chapter! I really thought you wrote Renji wonderfully. His awkward speech and continual fidgeting was perfect, and I couldn’t decide whether to worry or giggle when he couldn’t decide what to call Byakuya.

I’m so glad he finally told Rukia though, partly because she deserved to know about it and partly because he needed to tell her. It doesn’t do well for someone like Renji to keep things bottled up, and I’m glad he finally let it all out. My own tension and emotion built with his while he was ranting and when he got to the end and said ”He’s using me,” my heart broke alongside his. I can’t tell you enough how fantastic the way you pull a reader into the story really is.

I’m happy with Rukia’s reaction too. We couldn’t have expected her to be fine after being told about all of that, but I’m so happy that she’s trying to understand, and that she’s staying in there strong for Renji. I breathed a sigh of relief when she said that last line of hers. At least she’s keeping some sense of normality.

Now that we’ve seen the situation from an outsider’s point of view, and now from Renji’s, I’m really wondering how Byakuya’s feeling about all of it. While to Renji he’s appearing as cold and superior (yet again), with the way that he’s been so worked up before that he ran off for a few days, he must have reason. He must be feeling a lot more than he’s letting on. Self-defence mechanism again, maybe? So I’m really looking forward to the next chapter.

Once again a long review, but it’s more like two in one, so I hope it’s okay ^_^

Also, thank you very much for the review on Apologies and hope, it was very much appreciated. It put a huge grin on my face as I read it. I’ve never RPed before, but I’ve been thinking recently that I’d like to try it out, if I could find a partner for it. It sounds like good fun, and like I’d be able to learn a lot from it too.

Just one more thing, I posted up a new fiction. Bleach this time. It’s a series of drabble kisses I’m writing for various different pairings. Thought I’d tell you, because I credit you entirely for inspiring me to write the first chapter of it, which is Renji x Byakuya, so I thank you for that. If you give it a read, please do tell me what you think. Feedback is always good, no?

Anyway, bye for now.

X

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From Velvetina on March 10, 2008
I read all of this fic in one sitting. It is beautifully written and I am enjoying the dynamics between the two so much. I think that Byakuya's characterization in particular is well done. The perfect blend of everything that makes up his character and the reason why I adore him.

I hope that I don't have to wait too long to see the next part because I am dying to find out what happens next!!
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From Chiyo on March 03, 2008
Wow, what can I say? That was truly incredible! Solidly written as usual, and even in what was just a tiny amount of time in the story, such development shown. The tension, hesitation and passion you managed to convey was simply perfect. Your description is detailed enough to be beautiful, but you never make the old mistake of 'over description'. Your work always flows so well, so one can read it without thinking about anything but the picture being painted by the words.

The part with Senbonzakura's blades was lovely (for lack of a better term)- so artistic and intimate- an ideal display of Byakuya’s apprehension and Renji’s newfound (although not necessarily welcomed) ability to hesitate. The way you describe both characters’ thoughts and simple movements is wonderful. It’s as subtle and easy to follow as my own chains of thought, and displays so much about the inner workings of the characters you have added such depth to.

Really, I simply can’t compliment you enough on this story, and this chapter just kept up everything that makes this one of my favourite fics. I get so absorbed in it! When Byakuya first whispered “Renji…” my breath hitched and caught in my throat as if I were actually there.

Onto Renji’s passion. Perfect! It was so Renji! Aside from those striking looks, his feral passion is what makes him such an attractive character to me (well, one of the things), and here it is displayed and described in a goddamned sexy way (there’s just not another way to describe it). Byakuya sort of losing it to his desire too, even if it was in a more controlled and ‘Byakuya’ sort of way, was wonderful. Seeing him develop, and all the walls he’s built up to protect himself from everything crumble slowly chapter by chapter is so… I don’t know… satisfying?

The foreshadowing at the end was brilliant also. You tease! I really hope you update soon, because I just don’t think I can wait! I’m getting very picky on what fics I read recently. Where my own writing ability is improving, so my need for well-written fics increases. There are some that I just can’t get into, because I get too critical, and think of the ways I would improve them. I don’t get that here. With this one, I think “Wow, I need to improve and be able to write like this.” Currently, I am only following four fics across Naruto and Bleach fandom.

Wow, I hadn’t realise how long I had been typing for. I hope you don’t mind my long review, and I hope it’s not too rambling. As an author, I appreciate review, so I hope it’s alright.

Anyway, I look forward to your next update! ^_^

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From AxAROFFLE on February 25, 2008
-claws at lovingly-

You are an absolutely brilliant writer, my dear. I just read this through entirely in one setting. I hope that there is going to be an update soon?

I really love how this is all unfolding. It's really very in character as far as I can see. I'm absolutely blown away by it, really.

Keep writing! You're great at it.
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From riddlestar on February 20, 2008
wow..!! i just found your story.. and i was inspired enough to LOG IN AND REVIEW!! i just am amazed at how well you keep everyone in character and still make everything seem so plausible.. and HOT!!
19 chapters went by too fast.. the flow was well.. i would say amazing ( but i think i already used that one) so ill stick to fantastically fabulously effortless and BRILLIANT. i dont see many good bleach stories out there, but your story made my trip here worth it XD( im usually a naruto fangirl).
i could say a lot but my boss is lurking around, so i will (have to) go.. will you please ( if possible) leave me a mail when you update? pretty pleeeaaaseee with a byakyua plushi on top? *grins*
looking fwd to the next chapter~
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From Chiyo on February 15, 2008
Fantastic chapter. Your writing style is ever wonderful, and your characterisation ever solid. I had never thought of this pairing much before now, and now I am totally converted. It's so plausible when I look at how well they compliment eachother, personality-wise. In this chapter, I simply loved how you described all the combat and their feelings about it. You painted a wonderful picture. There was so much grace and passion to something that is so normal for such characters.

When Byakuya took that gamble, however calculated and trusting it was, I gasped out loud. I couldn't believe it at first. That they have come that far, and that Byakuya is now able to be this way- I love it! I get so drawn into this story - Fantastic job! I hope it's not too long before I get to read more!

Oh, and something I forgot to say in my last review- I love how you illustrate the relationship of Shunsui and Jyuushiro on the side. Aside from helping along Byakuya and Renji's plot, I really enjoy reading their interactions and thoughts about it all. I certainly think it's fantastic that they are in the story too.
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From N00ne on February 09, 2008
I know thats an absolute horrible way to start a review, but I have to tell ya: I really do hate reviewing...

Simply because:

1. I can't seem to express hat I really mean.
and
2. english is not my native language, therefore I make lots of mistakes (in both spelling and phrase) and ppl tend to find me weird.

So, after I got that cleared...
I absolutely love this fic! Not only are Ren and Bya so perfect IC but the story itself is so detailed that there are no questions left as to why the characters react the way they do. The tension between my two fav. shinigami is almost tangible. When Renji asked for a "start-over" I actually hit the wall next to my desk - I was so frustrated (I got really caught up in the story^^) - but as the story went on I realized that that was actually what they needed - a clean start and a new chance.

I really hope they don't go to far with the bankai-"training" and end up hurting each other. Anyway I look forward to read more from you. Take care.

LG Noony

PS: I might have missed something you wrote bout your story of Ren/Bya "happening" in between the official manga/anime, but if you don`t intend the story to be that way - there is no reason why Urahara couldn't be allowed to at least visit SS (his banishment could get annihilated by the general^^) when they really need his help or experience, since they ARE short of taichous^^

PPS: btw. this review took me more than 40 minutes.... but I'm glad I did it^^
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From Chiyo on February 08, 2008
I just read the eighteen chapters over the last few days, and your writing is simply wonderful. You tell a great story in a great way, really. The development of the story, of the ever-wavering relationship, of their contact and conflict- it's just perfect. It seems very... real. The characterisation is spot on- the depth with which you don't just look, but SEE the characters is great- and the way you go about it with no rush, with the advancement and elaboration of the plot always seeming true to situation and character, is very admirable. This is one of the best fics I have read in a while. I'm utterly absorbed in it and simply can't wait to read more. I hope it's not too long before you get a chance to update.
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From pinkchunky on February 05, 2008
I'm totally hooked on this story *__*
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From YamiKaeko on February 02, 2008
damn it! I just red this today and I'm dieing for an update! >.< hurry up and I won't kill you!!!! :P good story, very well written. Update soon :)
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From Zangetsu on October 18, 2007
Very good, I love this! Poor Renji xp
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From Lances on September 20, 2007
So beautiful, so wonderful! I adore this story, it's one of my all-time favorites. There's such elegance in this story one hardly ever meets anywhere these days. Update as soon as you can!
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